In Other News

In other news, Jeremy has had some great success at work and is now working directly for the editor in chief Justice Micheal Kirby (the AU equivalent of a US Federal Supreme Court Judge) on a title about statutes. I am so proud of him! Of all the people on his team--some who've been there much longer--he was chosen to work on this because of his experience as a lawyer and his supreme editing skills! He makes me so proud. Really. This is a big deal for him and it makes us both excited to see him getting some awesome feedback and experience.

We also spent last weekend in Brisbane catching up with family and friends which was a very nice and anticipated reprieve from our rather boring and friend-less life here in Sydney. We were up late every night either hanging out with his parents or with his friends, eating good food and having good conversation. One night in particular, we sat up with his sister Karen and his parents talking about city planning, infrastructure and immigration (very hot topics right now in Australia), and I had such a good time. It's so nice to have intelligent conversations with people and to hear the opinions of the well informed (Jeremy's dad is a civil engineer). It was really good. I miss having those late night conversations with my own family and so it was special to have them with his--made me feel like I was at home. :)

Other things we did up in Brisbane: eat at the famous University of Queensland Pizza Cafe (cheap and oh-so-delicious!), chat feminism with his uber-cool friend Elise (she teaches Gender Studies at UQ), stay up late watching You-Tube videos with his high school mates, and eat some Greek food at the Greek Festival with Meg, Linda and their sweet friend Jasmine. I can't say enough about how good it was. :)

(Photo courtesy of the lovely Linda)

Sadly, we have very few photos from the weekend because Jeremy's camera has some strange power source problems (I suspect the batteries no longer connect with the body when the door is latched) and because my mid-length lens is no more.

I was commissioned to do some photography for the Reel Dance Film Festival in Sydney and halfway through the first night my tripod collapsed and my camera fell to the concrete where my lens snapped and broke of the body, plastic flying everywhere. When I approached the festival director to tell her I didn't think I could do the next few nights, I don't think she believed me because I didn't really appear upset (though inwardly, I was). I was more or less in shock and just eager to get home and make sure the camera body was okay.


I did manage to get off a few more photos with the fisheye but because the venue was so dark, there was just no way I could take photos with my telephoto lens. (I'll do a separate post tomorrow on just the festival with photos.)

Jeremy, being the superb boyfriend that he is, came to pick me up on his bike and walk me home while I cried. And then he held me as I cried in bed. I was such a mess. The next morning I couldn't even finish more than a couple hours at work. It was just too much. Thankfully, upon further investigation, the camera body appears to be in working order and the auto focus function is not damaged, but I'm out one lens (my primary lens) which means I'll need to buy a new one soon.

Thankfully it wasn't the fisheye (retails around $800). The one that broke is worth about $400 and already wasn't doing so well (little pieces of the Sahara were making the zoom sound a little crunchy).

More good news: this should only accelerate the purchase of the camera I really want: the Olympus E3!! It is a camera straight from the mountain itself, no doubt hand crafted by Zeus and delivered on the wings of angels! Purchasing it in a body/lens kit will eliminate the need to purchase a new lens separately too which means I'll save a bit of money. Now all I need is to save some money! Let's hope the visa is approved soon so I can get some real work!! Yes?!

This week I have been so sick with one nasty cold. Jeremy had it too for a few days but I got the worst of it (probably due to a weakened immune system caused by stress). But I'm improving and that's good news too! I just need to shake this ugly cough. However, the cold weakened me so much that I broke down and purchased a pint of Ben & Jerry's for $12. I'm sooo bad!

Tonight is Eurovision and in just a few hours, the Euro-trash song contest of the year will kick off! Being from the US, I had never heard of it until I met Jeremy but if you get a chance and can find it online, I highly suggest you watch it. Hilarity will ensure, I assure you.

Damage Control

{editted}

You know, I was going to restrict the privacy on my blog to just a few invited readers after someone felt they were entitled to write me one nasty email, but I've decided not to because:

1. I want to live a brave life and I will not be quieted by anyone with something nasty to say. I'm going to live by my values whether they agree or conflict with anyone else's.

2. I will not self edit the things I want to say anymore because I might upset someone. Deal with it people. If you want to read a happy blog about happy people where only happy things happen, go somewhere else. This blog is an honest blog from now on damn it.

3. This blog is about living life to the fullest as an expat, a nomad, and an honest human being. Some of the stories I have demand being shared and I will.

4. I'm a writer. I may only ever publish one thing in my life but my life is to write. You may not feel that this little blog in my little corner of the world is important or significant but it is to me and it means the world to me. If you don't find value in it, get off my page--someone else will take your place.

And hell yes I'm angry.

Me & You

I have returned from a long and arduous trip to the edge of the blogging world. Sorry for my absence.

In the last few weeks I've had a couple doctors appointments. There was some initial fear that I may have had hypertension but my blood pressure has evened out. It's likely that all of it was triggered by stress back in January when that old "friend" of mine decided it was so "responsible" and "Christian" of him to attack my faith and relationship. That triggered high blood pressure which unfortunately was detected by a really irresponsible doctor who wanted to put me on blood thinners without first doing a blood check! Scary stuff! I'm only 25 and sticking me on those meds could have made me dependent for the rest of my life. Thankfully, I had the good sense to seek another opinion and things have since evened out nicely. I've also had some blood tests done which have shown I have perfect vitamin and mineral blood counts, lower cholesterol than the average adult, and normal blood sugar even without fasting! So basically, I'm in great health! Just can't conquer the stress.

So, I've been learning about stress and trying to get a good handle on it. I sat down recently and made a list of stress factors that affect me on a weekly basis and was really surprised that my list quickly reached 15 items including being far from my family (and pressured to spend thousands of dollars to come see them--of course without help or reciprocation), unresolved visa status, dissatisfaction with my job, judgment from friends over my relationship and faith, family pressuring me to return home, and having no friends here in Sydney (and a dwindling number at home). Those are just the ones I think about daily. Can you see why I'm overwhelmed and stressed to the max?

The worst part is that I haven't had many people to talk about it with. We tried talking to Jeremy's parents about it this last weekend but his dad could only say I should be more positive. I feel so let down by people who think "positive thoughts" are the answer. I think I ran out of positive energy somewhere back around January. The most positive thing I do everyday is get out of bed and go back to work rather than stay there and sleep. I swear that simple act consumes whatever small remnants of positive energy I have left.

There are some people who have made a very direct impact on my life by saying and doing rather unkind things and I fear I'm becoming increasingly bitter everyday. So much so that I found myself seriously thinking about not going home today and instead saving all of our flight money for us and something we want to do. I found myself saying to Jeremy over lunch, "I don't want to reward my family for guilting me and not making an effort to be a part of my life." I can't decide if my feelings are valid or not.

The truth is that save one distant aunt who called me twice two years ago, I have not had a single phone call from anyone in my family over the last three years. No one has visited. A couple people have written and sent packages. Two of my best friends--the girls I thought I would forever grow old with--won't return my emails. People in my family who have university degrees still say they can't figure out how to install Skype and call me for free. The truth of all of this: no one wants to put in the effort and knowing that makes me feel really, really sad. And really, really alone. And really, really taken advantage of because while they can't even spare $5 to call me just once, it's completely acceptable to ask me to spend thousands to come see them.

I know people at home have kids and many don't make much money but is that really any excuse? I don't even have reliable work! I may not have any work at all next week and my visa situation doesn't give me many options to look for more...

I'm not asking for all of my family to come see me but I am asking that people stop treating me as an after thought. I'm tired of my dad calling my Stacy (my sister's name) when we talk on the phone. I also hate it that he sometimes calls me number three even though I'm the second child (it's because he values me least of us all). I'm tired of friend's being so thoughtless that they can't see past their own radical faith to see the sincerity of mine right in front of their eyes. I'm tired of being pressured to pursue unfulfilling careers instead of happiness and my dreams. I'm tired of getting passive aggressive emails from my mom that say crap like, "I FEEL SO GUILTY THAT WE ARE HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITHOUT YOU... I'll forgive you though" (seriously, she wrote that in all caps). I'm tired of people promising to visit me and never delivering because a. it was no longer convenient, b. I moved to a "less interesting" country, or c. they just don't have the time. Does it matter that these same people ask me to come see them when all three points hold true for me?

I don't want to be an afterthought, I just want to be me. I want to be Kortney, the human, the girl with feelings, the girl with aspirations, the girl with limited money and only a temporary job. I want to be loved and cared for just because people love and care for me, not because of obligation and not because of guilt--because I want to love people with that kind of freedom too. I want an apology now and then. I want someone to say, "Hey, it's okay if you can't come home this year. We understand and want you to be happy and healthy." I want to be valued because the way some of my family and friends have been treating me makes me feel anything but valued.

I don't know the answers to all of these questions and I have no idea how to solve these problems. But I do know that the stress I'm experiencing from family and friends has been the strongest and most debilitating of all the items on my list and that I can't be "positive" without first facing each of my stressors head on.

My Mom: a Woman Worthy of Admiration

Just for the record, my mom is rad.

We didn't grow up with much--in fact, at many times in my childhood we had nothing--absolutely nothing. But my mom never stopped trying to provide for us even though very few people were thinking about her.

Isn't that the truth? When you become a mom, everything becomes about your kids. You lose time to think, to write, to draw, to shop, to see friends, to have a career, to go to school, to spend with your spouse. Everyone sends gifts to your kids and never to you. When times are tough, people ask how the kids are doing, not how you are doing.

That's how it was for my mom. She married too young and had kids young too. It's sometimes hard for me to believe that at my age, my mom was already working on her second kid! I feel bad that she missed out on so much in life. She never got to travel, to pursue her artistic side (my mom is an amazing artist!), to really live on her own or fall madly in love.

Instead she met my father, became infatuated by his long hair a love of motorcycles, and married him thinking things would work out. Not long afterwards he was coming home drunk, wasting his paycheck at the bar, shooting holes in the ceiling with his shotgun and beating her for fun.

A lot of women stay in those kinds of relationships, too afraid to leave, too petrified to go through life alone and single.

Well, my mom isn't one of those women. She is the bravest woman I know. She took a chance and took us away from that life and gave us a future; she put her own happiness on the line so that we would have a chance at it. She never settled again for a man who didn't respect her and worked damn hard to make sure we could make it as a single family. Admittedly, we didn't always do so well but she never gave up.

My mom is a woman wholly dedicated to her kids and her work. Even now, when we're both grown up and living on our own with our own families, she still takes care of us. She still loans us money, still sends us cards and letters, still has a room for us in her house even though she lives alone.

My mom is my hero. She is a STRONG woman. I've always been proud to be one among a long line of strong woman on both sides of my family but she is by far the strongest of them both. My mom has guts. My mom is a feminist worthy of admiration. She didn't have to burn her bra or climb the corporate ladder--all she had to do was say, "No! No one can tell me what I can and can't do and no one will make me feel like less of a person by the virtue of being a woman!"

I'm often told by the people who know me best that I am a strong woman. Well, I learned it from my mom. Most people in my family will never know the trials she went through to raise us, but I know and I'm not going to forget! I'm not going to overlook her or her sacrifice!

My mom is my hero. We may not have always got along or agreed on things but she never gave up on us or on the dream of happiness, and I admire her so much for that.

Thank you Mom and Happy Mother's Day.

The Power is in Your Hands: Composition Part 2

A Sense of Scale

I'm sure that at first glance you can't see the tiny man but he's there! He's a little black vertical line in the bottom right corner. Of course, at this size he's too small to give you a sense of scale but at the original size of this photo, you definitely get a sense of how BIG the pyramids are!

If you're photographing something big, try sticking something in the frame to help your viewers put the subject in perspective like a plant in a big window, a squirrel next to a giant tree--use your imagination!

Sports/Action Shots

To be a good spots photographer, you have to learn to anticipate your photo. For repetitive activities like kicking a punching bag, mentally count how quick their movements are and take your photo accordingly. And get to know your shutter speeds! Become familiar with what kinds of speeds you need to get certain shots. Obviously if your shooting a runner, you'll need a quicker speed. 

These taekwando photos didn't turn out so well at first but after a little while I got the hang of how fast they were moving and learned to anticipate their actions. This one in particular wasn't super fast, just super high. By the time he reached this height, his momentum had slowed significantly so it was actually pretty easy to anticipate this shot. I think I got it in just the right place! But if you recall a photo I posted recently of an apple exploding, that was an extremely fast shutter speed (and I should mention, an extremely lucky shot!). Of course, it took me several times to get it right. They were kicking apples left and right so I had time to practice my timing. You might not always have that chance to practice but you'll get the hang of it sooner or later and then you won't need so many practice shots!

Symmetry

Symmetry is one subject split in the middle so that one side mirrors the other. This was the best example I could find from my own work of symmetry.

Why is symmetry so captivating? I think it's because very little is symmetrical in nature--thus it's so eye catching! We find ourselves looking at symmetrical things and wondering why we can't look away; what is it that makes it different? In fact, I've heard it said that some of the most successful models have very symmetrical faces (a rarity among humans).

Radial Composition

The idea behind radial composition is that there is one central point from which everything moves out from. 

Another great example of radial photos? Try photographing a ferris wheel with blurred movement but make sure to keep your frame tight around the subject!

Going Somewhere & Coming from Somewhere

One great way to capture the sense of a journey is to use tracks--they are great and lead your eye right through the photo (front to back or back to front!). 

Other tips: try photographing people from behind to get the sens that you're following them or to get a view of what's ahead. You might also try playing with the size of your subject and the placement of them in the frame. Obviously big and in foreground will give you a sense that there is something beyond your subject, where as small and in the background will give you a sense of what's behind them.

Depth of Field (DOF)

Depth of Field refers to the sense you get that something is far away or close by which is easy to achieve by blurring portions of your photo but leaving your subject sharp and in focus. This can be achieved by either moving in really close so that all things in the background are blurred, or by increasing the f-number (decreasing the aperture diameter) will increases the DOF.

This is a pretty typical and standard photographer's tip which will definitely make your photos stand out from the rest.

The Power is in Your Hands: Composition Part 1

There is a lot to be said about how to compose your photos so I've decided to split this subject into two posts. However, before we start talking about composition ideas, let me just say that there are a few cardinal rules about composition.

1. As yourself what you want to photograph and photograph it and nothing else. Anything extra in your photo should enhance the subject and never draw attention away from it. This is a common problem with "tourist" shots. People want their photo taken in front of the waterfall or the church or the statue to remind them that they were there. Well, actually, if you have the photo then that is the reminder. If you put your face in front of it, you draw attention away from the most important part: that amazing place you visited. Spend your time focusing on the magnificent beauty you're beholding, not on how your hair looks in the last 10 frames.

 

This is a really good example of the awkward "we were here!" photo. The giant Buddha was cool but we really didn't need another photo of us together. We knew we had been there. Not to mention we just look awful!

2. Fill your frame. Forget this whole "in a land far, far away" thing and fill your frame with your subject. If you got to a tennis match and your favorite player is up, zoom in! Get close and put that person in the photo! If your frame is too far back, you'll lose the magic. A good rule for portraits, no face should ever be smaller than a nickle no matter what size of print it is.

Here's a good example of where I should have filled my frame:

I love this picture because this old Vietnamese woman is trying so hard to row against the rain and wind in the storm in her little boat while all the bigger ones are safely anchored. But the photo is so far away that the focus is a bit lost on her. She's a little too small and it's easy to be distracted by the other boats. If I had actually used that zoom of mine, it would have been much, much better!

Okay, the good stuff! With those two cardinal rules in mind, let's talking about composition ideas and styles.

The Rule of Thirds
This is your classic photography rule. Basically, the idea is that if you draw two lines in equal measure across your photo horizontally and vertically--splitting your photo into three sections of equal siz, anything under the four intersecting points will naturally draw the eye.

As you can see, the top right intersection is perfectly placed on the forehead of the woman as is the top left intersection on the woman in the background. But more so, that top line connects all four women which allows the eye to easily move between them and makes the photo feel more connected.

The Middle

My old art teacher, Dan Rice, used to say never put anything in the center unless it's really important because the center is a powerful and confronting place. In many ways Dan is right. A centrally placed subject can be very confronting and will always grab the viewer's attention.

This photo is of the Armenian Genocide Memorial and Eternal Flame in Yerevan, Armenia. It is a very solemn place where visitors are compelled to hold their breath in silent honor for the dead. I took a lot of photos here and sure, many of them were off-center, but it was the center one that worked best. Why? Because these slain Armenians demand our attention and should be the focus of the photo.

Of course, you can do whatever you want--rules were meant to be broken! But just remember than the center is your special place to make a statement so choose wisely!

Reflections

Reflections are a great way to make an ordinary scene abstract! I've taken lots of photos this way before using monorail windows, mirrors, picture frames, windows--you name it! Perhaps the most over-used example is the sunglasses (but I still like it anyway).

Patterns

Everything in nature has a patter be it the buds on a fern or the veins in a feather. But artificial things have patterns too! Any pattern will capture the viewers attention. And remember, symmetry in patterns isn't necessarily a requirement!

Sense of Movement

Are you watching a dance? At a sports came? Or maybe you're just on the beach and looking at waves? Movement is all around us and just because your picture is a still doesn't mean everything has to be still! Lengthen your shutter speed to blur the moving parts and put some action into your shot!

The Moment

When I was a kid I used to be fascinated by light switches and I would flip them over and over, trying to slow things down enough that I could find the exact moment when the light switched on. I really wanted to know what happened between on and off! I think most people have are curious too about that moment and capturing it on film will definitely capture your viewer's attention!

This is one of those moments! Even though the balloon is actually behind the minaret and a long way off, the silhouette makes them look level with each other and just about to collide! It's that tiny sliver of light in between the two that catches people's attention!

Vanishing Points

Have you ever stared down a long, straight and empty road and wondered how far it went? Or stared across the ocean and wondered where the end was and why you couldn't see it? That's vanishing points in a nutshell: the subject leading away from you until it simply vanishes.

Okay, so this photos was taken with a fisheye lens which helps a bit but really, you can do these kind of photos with any lens! All you need is perspective!

Look Up or Look Down

Sometimes we get so pre-occupied looking ahead that we forget there is a world above and a world below! Looking up or down can sometimes be just the thing you need!

This was actually a big art installation piece on the beach and by chance I looked up to find these amazing patters and shapes around me which made one awesome photo!

Where the Action is
Never forget that as a photographer, you are looking for the height of every moment--the point where excitement, tension, passion, movement can go no further!

This was taken at the city festival in my old town Jeomchon, in Korea. At the festival, my girls were yelling a song and flashing their jackets as they went. This of course, was the height of the moment after which they rolled their hands and flashed in the other direction--sweeping from side to side. So I waited for them to open their jackets again and yell, and there it is! The moment! That's where you take your photo! Patience and practice will teach you to anticipate those moments.


Want more? Come back on Wednesday for part 2 of composition!