I had a BIG fight in college with my best friend/roommate over mystery things (ie. she never told me what she was upset about) and it all culminated in me sleeping on the couch for a month and us never talking again. Literally. Not a word was said to each other.
I got over it and forgot about it.
Two years later, I found myself re-thinking all that happened, feeling bad for giving up on our friendship and not trying harder to make things right. I felt bad about not ever talking to her again, especially at graduation when she made eye contact with me as though she wanted to talk. I said to myself, "This isn't right. We were best friends and had so much fun together. I shouldn't let things end like that." So I found her and emailed her, telling her that I was sorry for everything that happened and that I hoped we could fix things and maybe be friends again one day.
And I told myself that answer or no answer, I would be fine with it, and for once, I finally felt good about what happened between us.
She didn't write back for two or three weeks and I was fine with that. I figured she just wasn't going to write back or I guessed that maybe she just didn't use that email or whatever. I honestly didn't think there was anyone who could have been so heartless to have not seen the sincerity of what I wrote and turn away my apology and extended hand of friendship.
But she could.
I got a letter back from her yesterday saying little more than: "I have a husband, kids, a busy job, and new friends. I don't need you and I don't want your friendship. Get a life and move on." This is all paraphrase of course, but they way she wrote it reeked with arrogance and cruelty. There is really no reason to be so heartless.
Anyway, I guess I got the answer I wanted (just not in the way I wanted it) and I guess it's time to finally let that one be.
Of course, as life continues we lose some friends along the way, some due to fights, some just due to circumstances, distance, time, lost interest, etc., and I guess some of those friendships can't be recovered.
So, moving on now...
2 comments:
Ah sad. But at least you spoke and put forth effort. You never have to wonder what could have been later on in life. There is someone that I want to apologize too, but am afraid of rejection, but you inspire me to do it anyway.
I'm sorry to hear that. Unresolved conflicts are always difficult. Something that I have learned along the way is that those who don't forgive are really only hurting themselves (our ourselves, as the situation might be). I'm proud of you for taking the step toward restoration and asking forgiveness for your part.
Post a Comment