When it rains...

I'm feeling a little defeated right now.

Yesterday Jeremy and I started working on my taxes, hoping that I would get a nice return of at least a couple hundred dollars so I could replace some of my clothes which are all either long sleeve or have stains on them. What we found instead was disheartening.

First, and probably the biggest problem, is that Jane, my old boss from Bella Donna, deducted the wrong tax rate from my pay check and I now owe the government $688 and it's due at the end of October. And really, there was no way for me to know that this was going to happen. I must have asked a million times for those pay stubs so that I could make sure I was being taxed right as well as being paid the correct wage and hours but I never received even one.

Second, on my PAYG summary (which is the equivalent of the US W-2 form), Jane wrote that I had been employed by her for a whole year--I didn't enter the country until March 2009! But where this becomes a problem is with Superannuation. Superannuation is the Australian federal retirement plan where your employer is required to make deposits into a retirement fun with your name as long as you earn over $400 a month. It is required by law and even working holiday visa holders are entitled to superannuation funds. However, when you average out my gross earnings over 12 months rather than the 3 I was employed for, the average monthly earning is too low to qualify for superannuation contributions. I am highly suspicious that no contribution was ever made.

Third, I have no job yet. The temp agency is still waiting to hear from my references. Because they are trying to contact some people in administration at Northwest and it's currently the first week back at school, I feel rather confident that the earliest a reply would be made is at the end of the month--and that's if anyone remembers to reply. The other reference I had from Curves no longer works there and I believe the email I had for her is bad or no longer her email--so that reference is caput too. As far as I know, one person has replied which I am so grateful for but I feel bad that she had to take time out of her day and write one for me when she already wrote a letter of recommendation two years ago--a letter I submitted along with two others to the agency. Is anyone else noticing a pattern here? Is there any real reason to triple check all of my references?

I have applied to SO MANY JOBS and I keep getting the same response over and over: "Well, we are looking for someone with retail experience..." or "We aren't looking for anyone with a working holiday or student visa..." or "We're not hiring right now." Seriously, wouldn't it be better to hire one dedicated person who will work hard and take extra shifts for 6 months than hire some lazy person who complains and always has other plans for one year? And what in the hell makes "retail" so much harder than anything else that I should have experience to get the job??? It's scanning objects, stocking shelves, folding clothes, and saying to every customer, "Can I help you? Have you heard about our sale today?" There is NO REASON why anyone with a university degree should be considered "under qualified" for a job in a toy store, a card shop, a shoe store, or an accessory shop.

I am so pissed right now that anger doesn't cover it. I am trying SO HARD to work--I WANT to work--but I can't. I can't get a good job because I'm not a resident yet, and I can't become a resident unless I get the visa, and I can't get the visa unless I have $2,500, and I can't get $2,500 unless I first pay the government $688, and I can't get $688 unless I have a job, and I can't get a job unless I'm "more qualified," and that degree I paid for which supposedly makes me "qualified," yeah, I can't pay the $200 a month that it costs unless I have a job. So, can someone tell me the answer to this riddle: which comes first, the job or the experience? Because I really need to know. I need to know because in order for me to get a new job, I need a few things.

Yesterday we created a "Kortney's Tax Money Piggy Bank" in hopes that maybe we can come up with some extra cash. The first money in was $8 we dug up from our pockets; the next $25 came from selling some of Jeremy's books. We're now looking around the house and hoping to find other things to sell too. He's got a few old cameras that might yield a buck or two as well as a stamp collection someone gave him once a upon a time. I have a gold necklace with a few diamond shards that my dad gave me a few years ago but anything else of value is in boxes somewhere across the Pacific. So, this really is like the first year of marriage: we're having our first fire sale already!

It looks like anything we were going to save for the visa is now being saved for my back taxes, and that Christmas vacation we were hoping to take? Yeah, that won't be happening either...

But I did make a lovely apple crisp Saturday night. At least my food can be sweet and satisfying.