Midnight Thoughts as I Near the End

I got a little teary and sad today about leaving Sydney. I went to cancel my gym membership at the pool and it just felt so final. I loved going there. I’ve spent soooo many days in that beautiful park just passing time, back-stoking across the pool and staring up at an endlessly blue sky. It felt wrong to be saying goodbye.

I keep finding myself wondering if this will be the last time I ever visit our grocery store, the convenience store in our building run by the nicest Chinese woman and her adorable daughter, the last time I’ll get gelato from Cow & Moon, or the last bus ticket I will ever buy here. None of these things are extraordinarily awesome or anything, they’ve just been my small comforts in times when I would have done anything to feel human again. I’m not sure if I can explain it well. I know in my mind that they are small things to miss but I know in my heart that the small things have sustained me and that imagining a world without even these very small pleasures scares me. I know there will be bigger and better pleasures where we are going but still I’m a bit afraid.

I’m sure none of my friends would believe me if I told them that—that I still feel a little bit of fear when I embark on a new journey. Sometimes traveling is easy but saying goodbye rarely is. Even when I left my small Korean town last time in 2008, I was a bit weepy despite having hated it for nearly 6 months. The truth is that no matter where we are, the human spirit compels us to make a home—to have a community, familiarity, comforts and sanctuary. However insufficient life here has been, I’ve still had a home here and I’m abandoning it, no doubt in search of another one, but abandoning it all the same. 

I named this blog Twenty First Century Nomad when I first started blogging; it's sort of a name I adopted for myself while I was still in college and dreaming of traveling forever. I grew up with a very warped and transient idea of home which in many ways has made me feel like I have no home at all. But I realize now, after a lot of traveling and life experience, that nomads are nothing like what my 21 yr old self thought they were.

Nomads are not “homeless” people but rather people with many homes. They are not gypsies, ever in motion and never returning to their roots. Real nomadic people like Kyrgyz and Mongols actually have several “homes” that they return to every year at different times, shuffling their herds around to the best grasslands at the best times of the year across vast expanses of land. They return to familiar places. Their children return to play in the same creek beds as the year before, fall out of the same trees, climb on the same rocks, eat the same roots, swim in the same lakes… They are not homeless people, people with no sense of home, or even people with no desire to stay put. On the contrary, they are people with a very deep rooted sense of belonging to the land and their surrounds, their hunting grounds, the traditions, the seasons, the places, the memories.

My idea of what a nomad was back in my early years of travel was very naive and romanticized. Back then, I didn’t really understand the concept of “home” or what it means to belong somewhere. I didn’t think I ever would. And yet, even in the hardest of environments (Sydney), I’ve made a home. It was in part a conscious effort but also in part a surprise because I never expected that I would feel the emotions I felt today. I never thought I would miss this place. I never thought I loved this place in any way despite so many efforts to. But I do. I don’t love the whole of it but I love pieces of it and it’s the culmination of those pieces that makes me realize leaving here means I really will be missing out on something.

When Jeremy got home from work I had a bit of cry with him because I felt so sad to be leaving without having found the “home” I expected. I came here with pretty high hopes of loving this place and becoming Australian one day but situations overcame us and I couldn’t make it—I couldn’t mold what I had into what I wanted. Call it money problems or call it people problems; the short of it is that it just didn’t work. And I feel bad because there is so much I wanted to see and so much I wanted to do, because I really do believe in the cliched Australia, that somewhere out there is a small town where everyone wants to be your friend and invite you to barbecues on the beach. I lamented to him that I fear this place would never be my home again, that I would always return as a visitor and only as a visitor, that I will never have that chance to find the life I wanted to have here.

I know that all sounds so existential but it’s what I feel and in someways it’s what I know. I know that somewhere in my heart my dreams have been burned. I know that even if I ever tried it again here, I would still have pain and I may never get beyond it. So leaving here really is a bit existential—it’s the end. There is no return. I’m not going to find that dream. I may return as a polite observer of the natural wonders this country has to offer but I will never own them as my own, and that makes me sad. I’m leaving my home. I’m really leaving my home. I’m returning to another home (Korea) but I’m well and truly leaving this one. I won’t return next season to play in the same creek beds as the year before, fall out of the same trees, climb on the same rocks, eat the same roots, swim in the same lakes…

In leaving here I am both breaking with my nomad tradition and also keeping it.

In many ways I’m tired of traveling. I miss my original home—my country, the United States. I haven’t touched soil there since August 2007 and I miss it so much. The smell of evergreen trees, the really random kindness of strangers, going to baseball games, watching the super bowl (mind you, I don’t really care about sports), eating barbecue ribs and listening to my uncle play the harmonica. I miss everyday life. We’re heading back to Korea for what I think will be two years and I know that’s all it’ll be, but it feels like too much sometimes. My heart keeps telling me it’s time to return to my traditional home, to the grasslands of my youth, where my clan is waiting for me.

I hope that one day I’ll make it back to the home I miss most. 

Finally!

It happened! The visa was approved! What a relief!

It's been a hard 7 1/2 months waiting for this visa to come through. I've had difficulties with jobs, stress, fear, loneliness and isolation. A big part of the whole horror of this process was that I gave the immigration department my blog address as part of our relationship evidence. What I didn't realize until later was that by giving them my blog address, I would have to self-censor this place--my place. My place for self expression.

Out of fear that they would deny me the visa if they knew how unhappy and dissatisfied I am with life in Australia, I decided to either post relatively neutral posts (I tried but usually failed) or say nothing at all. Which is why I went so many weeks without saying anything.

Life here has been hard and so many of you will never know the extent of it. It's not just the finances. I would say my number one problem with Australia is the people and for that reason, we will probably leave. Soon. As in, likely before January. I'm not 100% sure where we will go. I've been working on my visa documents for Korea since August and they're almost ready. We also applied for jobs in Japan back in September with ECC and have been put into a pool of accepted teachers waiting for placement offers.

But the main thing is that I don't have to keep silent in solitary confinement anymore. It's been hard. I haven't made any close friends here at all save one German exchange student who left Sydney and returned home a year ago. Instead, I've met a lot of really "nice" people. "Nice" as in, not really interested in knowing you or being your friend but will happily pretend they're interested as long as it doesn't require too much effort. When I tried to reach out here on my blog, watering down my feelings of isolation for immigration but still looking for some support, I got a surprising range of responses: a bit of loving encouragement, a bit of ambivalence, a bit of denial, a bit of hope, a bit of "you should just get happy," and even one glorious piece of hate mail.

Thanks so much to those of you who knew what was really going on and stood by with a metaphorical arm around my shoulder. I can't thank you enough. I'm not sure how much I'll be blogging here anymore but I'll try to post the random update here and there so you at least know what's happening for the next few months.

Ciao my faithful readers!

Change of Scenery

Thanks to those of you who commented and encouraged me. It means a lot. I'm still super stressed and feeling anxious (which is always unpleasant) but I feel confident that no matter what happens, we will get through it. Whether the visa is denied or approved, we will have each other.

Aside from the immigration news, we moved. Saturday was the big day and with the help of two friends, we packed all our stuff into a rental truck and moved it 200m up the street. It's amazing that even at such a short distance it can still take hours to move.

The move was relatively un-notable except that Jeremy and our rental truck did not get along. He was so mad and a bit shaken up when he came home with it at 6 am after a near collision due to the shear size of this beast and the difficult gears. It was a constant struggle all day which culminated in an epic battle of berth: Jeremy hit a tree with the truck.

He was trying to back in to a parking spot in front of our apartment at the edge of a roundabout... in the middle of a construction zone. Obviously, the conditions weren't ideal. In order to back up, he had to block traffic which meant high stress and lots of horns. Ditching his plan and over reacting to the situation meant that he sped around the roundabout a little too quickly as he attempted to park on the other side of our street. Consequently, he wasn't able to judge the clearance under the tree very well. He did get the truck into it's spot but took off a 6 ft limb in the process.

It was particularly funny because he knew he hit the tree but didn't know he tore of a limb of it, even though it was hanging over the front of the truck. He just looked at me, shrugged with his hands in the air and mouthed “what?” from the truck cabin. Owen and I were doubled over laughing and the two traffic controllers were also laughing hysterically in disbelief. We had a good time laughing about it all day. :)

Thankfully the truck bore no marks from the collision and would therefore not cost us anything, but it did make Jeremy even MORE nervous about driving and he nearly flat out refused to make a second trip. Long after Owen and Jim were gone, we had to make one more trip because there were still a few pieces of light furniture left. Jeremy insisted that we should just return the truck and carry everything by hand which became a very drawn out argument which I ultimately won (luckily).

With one more trip to our new place, it still took us another 5 hours to load and unload everything. I hadn't been so tired in months.

With us and all our belongings are in the new apartment, we still had to clean our old place which took 9 hours on Sunday. It's crazy how time consuming cleaning can be—even if it's an already clean apartment. Most of our time cleaning was eaten up by scrubbing the glass blocks and scrubbing the tiles stained with grease where Jeremy kept his bike. But it's all clean now and looks awesome which stands only to piss me off more that our new apartment is so gross.

It's hard to clean at the moment not just because our place is so cluttered but also because also because it seems like all I've been doing is cleaning! I'm so tired of doing it which makes me feel guilty because there is still so much to do. It'll take us weeks to unpack and clean up here...

On a side note, it's strange going back to your old place when it's empty. It kinda makes you feel homeless and like your life is empty. It's a sad feeling. Particularly sad if the place you are moving to isn't clean and doesn't give you that warm heart-hug feeling that makes everything feel like home. I know in my head that it's only a matter of time before we make new memories in our new apartment—then it'll feel like home.

Maybe we need to just break in the new house? How should we celebrate? (Keep in mind that it's probably only big enough for five guests maximum.)

...in which I'm on TV.

Monday night, the day before my birthday, we went to St. Leonards for the SBS filming of Insight. Unfortunately and despite the topic information presented to us in emails, the show was not on euthanasia and was instead on end of life care. It was still interesting but a bit of surprise because no one knew about the change until 5 minutes before they started filming!

Interestingly, we learned at the filming that while everyone we waited with were people who sought out SBS to be on the show ("focus group" is what they called us), SBS had also sought and recruited people to be on the show ("panel members"). Of course, they knew what the topic would be! I don't think not telling us was on purpose but it meant that none of us from the focus group were prepared and none of us took part in the discussion.

The discussion tended to focus around choosing quantity or quality of life when faced with a terminal illness. There were two families there who discussed their decisions to fight or give up and be comfortable, and their stories were compelling. Even the man who chose to give up had fought it for a little while but he ultimately decided that he could possibly have a shorter life and a much less satisfying one because of the toll his body took under radiation treatment. He seemed to be at peace with things and it was really good to see that the palatial care he was receiving made him comfortable. He told us he had about six more months to live but that he felt normal and healthy which was the best thing he could ask for. 

There was also a single woman there who found out she had ovarian cancer while on vacation and was told she had two-three weeks to live and that chemo wouldn't work with her kind of cancer. But she refused to placate and give up and insisted on getting chemo. Turned out that she has a special gene that makes her body particularly responsive to chemo therapy and even though this kind of cancer rarely responds to treatment, her's did. In fact, she made a full recovery after four rounds of chemo and surgery! After that, she decided to do away with doctors and now does her own research and only goes in for testing every few months which her and her doctor keeps a copy of the results and she makes the decisions regarding her care. It was truly fascinating to hear someone talk about taking control of their illness and making decisions for themselves which is totally legal. Several of the doctors taking part in the discussion agreed that often times doctors don't give their patients the best of care and that sometimes making decisions for yourself is the best course of action.

I don't want to ruin it all for you and tell you everything else that happened but it was a very beautiful program where people shared some truly touching stories about how they reached their decision on how they wished to die. One couple in particular told the story about their son Archy who is still just an infant and waiting for death with birth defects. It made me well up in tears as did quite a few other people in the audience. 

As I said, we didn't really participate but it was a very good discussion and one I'm glad I didn't miss! Added bonus though: they paid everyone of us $50 for coming which meant we had extra cash to buy groceries last week! Score!

If you want to watch the episode, you can do so here. I don't know if it'll stream in the US because it's an Australian network but I suspect it will because they do so much international coverage. I, myself, haven't watched it yet so I don't know if they caught me on tape or not but since it was filmed live, I really hope they didn't catch me trying to hold in a yawn, fidgeting, compulsively scratching my face, shifting my weight, slumping or making a funny face! Because sitting still in a room for an hour while being filmed and not being able to contribute to the discussion is HARD! (If you couldn't figure it out, I'm in the grey and whit stripped shirt with Jeremy to my left.)

Vivid Sydney Festival 2010

Ahh! I can't believe I forgot to post these! I found it unfinished in my post list!

Jeremy and I went out with Owen and Rachel few months ago to see the pretty lights at the Vivid Sydney Festival. The festival was in it's second year this year and celebrates Sydney's history by projecting art and graphics onto it's many iconic buildings. We had a good time but it was cold! And after finding Max Brenner had a line 30 people deep for hot chocolate, we opted for Krispy Kreme. No one was disatisfied though. ;)

Enjoy the photos!

Euthanasia

Monday night, Jeremy and I will be partake in the SBS Insight audience on euthanasia and I'd like to know your opinion on it.

For those who don't know, Insight is a debate/discussion program on the SBS network where the audience debates with each other and the program's guest speakers, prompted with questions from the moderator. It's a really great program with a good deal of input from all sides. There are no "winners" as the aim of the show is to facilitate and engage dialog among people of differing views (just the sort of thing I love).

The show tackles lots of hot topic issues like the legalization of marijuana, immigration, the war in Afghanistan and school bullying. As I said, we'll be talking about euthanasia because it's coming up for vote in the Australian parliament this quarter.

I'm interested in hearing what you think: should it be legal? If yes, under what circumstances? If no, why? Please leave your opinion in the comments and if you feel uncomfortable using your name, leave an anonymous comment.

Thanks!

Catching Up

Sorry I've been such an absent blogger. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and yet at the same time, not much has happened either. Let me explain.

Work: My current visa status only allows me to work up to 6 months with any one employer and so I had to quit both my jobs earlier this month in order to avoid deportation and fines. I didn't really expect much but my two employers gave me such warm and loving good bye parties that it made me feel like maybe I did fit in after all. CRG wrote me a very nice reference letter and gave it to me along with a delicious cake,  book I wanted to read on Feng Shui and some very nice bath stuff from Body Works. Not to mention they gave me a very nice speech and told me all the work I've done there on their marketing materials has actually helped them land and retain contracts--one of them being a multi-million dollar deal. Apparently the CEO of this international pharmaceutical company was very impressed and even mentioned he would like to do the same sort of thing for his company! It was a sad day to leave though and they kept telling me that as soon as my visa is approved to please, please call them--they want me back! That sort of praise really lifted me up and made me feel good for a whole week.

My other job at Thomson Reuters was a sweet parting as well. Since my team there was really small (three of us), I invited out almost everyone I knew for a farewell lunch so it wouldn't seem so empty. And it was glorious. We had a beautiful Cambodian/Thai lunch and afterwards they gave me a cake shaped like a dog (laso apso to be exact) and a beautiful card wishing me well. I went around and thanked everyone personally before packing up my desk and leaving my final instructions for the next temp. It was a sad parting because I'd been there off and on for almost a year and had grown really close to my boss, Alysia, in that time. When I felt like I had no friends, seeing her at work reminded me that I do. Even though it wasn't always easy working there, being gone has shown me a little hole is left in it's place.

Housing: Since I was no longer working and was free to scour real estate sites, Jeremy and I decided it was time to start looking again for a new apartment. We abandoned our search a few months back after repeatedly failed attempts to secure a home but it felt like the right time to look again and since I had all this free time, it would make moving easier. So, last weekend we started house hunting. It was a long, long day of walking for hours all over the Inner West. We saw 8 properties and applied for 4 before collapsing on the couch with blistering feet (me).

This week we heard back from one of the agents notifying us we didn't get the property (it was actually the one we really wanted) and so I headed out yesterday to see more. I was waiting for the agent at a complex in Kirribilli (with harbour views!!) when Jeremy called to tell me we were approved for one! In fact, the one we were approved for is about a 3-5 minute walk from our current place! Obviously we accepted and on the 13th, we'll pick up the keys to our new palace! It's not quite a palace but it is a bit bigger with two balconies and a window in the shower which means less mold! Yay! We put in our deposit on Friday and then it's time to start packing! I can't wait to move!

Visas: Nothing has happened. Did I mention before that I was once told I had a case officer sometime back in June? Well, turns out that was a farce which was quite the surprise for me--I had her name, phone number and email address given to me from the immigration department! When I never heard from her after several months, I decided to call up immigration and I've since learned that in the 6 months since I applied for my partner visa, nothing has happened. Absolutely nothing. They gave me the usual spiel about how it takes 6-9 months to process visa applications and that I'll have to wait until 9 months has passed to escalate the issue. The most annoying part though is that I have no direct contact with whom I can talk to. It's a real pain. It's keeping my whole life on hold. I can't get permanent work, I can't go to school, I can't leave the country and I can barely find work at all. But more so, it hurts Jeremy too because it puts an unfair financial burden on him and keeps him from returning to school as well. I wish some consideration was put into the lives of the people applying--especially considering that we've all paid $2,500 to apply for this stupid thing! We're going to stick it out but I'll admit, sometimes I wonder if it was ever worth applying...

Looking for Work: I've had a weird past two weeks of job hunting. First, I interviewed for a manager's position for a Santa photography set in the mall this Christmas. I actually applied for this same position last year and was even offered it--but the offer came the day after I accepted a different job and even signed the contract. This year though, I am definitely taking the job. I got the call Monday with the offer which wasn't unexpected but definitely appreciated. I'm really excited that this is actually a job as a photographer (even if it's just Santa stuff) and that it's a management position in sales which means I could probably break into retail as a second in charge with relative ease after this (a very good segue position). The downside: it doesn't start until the last week in October which means I've still got three weeks on my hands. It's unlikely that I'll get any work in that time because most people want someone for a month or at least someone available for a month's work. But I'm trying to look at it positively: I'll have plenty of time to pack and move all our junk up the road and I'll be able to take advantage of the pre-searing heat known as "Sydney Summer" by galavanting around the city on small adventures.

Before I got the job though, I also got a call from the recruitment agency I work for asking me if I'd like to work for them as a recruiter. Now, I've always been fairly suspicious about their business practices and not so appreciative of their customer service skills, so I was already fairly certain I wouldn't take the job but I went in for an interview anyway. The result? The manager, whom I've spoken on the phone with many times, was exactly as I expected her to be: aggressive, defensive, domineering and a bit pushy. She was everything I've known her to be on the phone just in a power suit. She continued to tell me how hard the job is, that it takes serious drive and dedication, that it'll be long hours (generally 7 am - 7 pm) and fast paced. The hours were my most obvious concern (I do have a life, you know) and so when I asked about the compensation, she refused to tell. She said she would tell me the salary if I was successful as an applicant. Ha! I thanked her for her time and left. No way would I seriously apply for a job with those sort of hours without first knowing the pay! Ridiculous... Not surprisingly, my new recruiter who came two months ago quit on Friday. I remember actually saying in my interview that it sounded like the sort of job with a high turn over rate and she tried to tell me no, that most stay for 3-4 years... Whatever. It was the sort of interview like the one I had from Curves where they weren't seriously considering me but just wanted to sell me a membership!

Adventuring: We don't actually get out too much but we do love trying new restaurants! A couple weekends ago, Owen and Rachel took us to this glorious Lebanese place out in the middle of nowhere (Greenacre) where I seriously had the most amazing food of my life. No joke and no exaggeration. It was that good. Which got me thinking: I need to blog about some of these awesome eateries here because Sydney is an awesome city to eat out in. Seriously, Aussies love food and there is such a large migrant population in Sydney that you can find some really great authentic dishes easily. So that will be up next--along with my super cool birthday weekend adventure!

Family: I haven't asked but I hope no one minds me talking about this on my blog--Jeremy's sister is having a baby! Karen is a couple years older than me and is due in February. We just found two weeks ago that she's having a boy (her preference) and everyone is excited! It's a huge blessing because she lost a baby just a few months before this little miracle came along and we are all so grateful that he's healthy and growing strong. Doug, Karen's fiance, is a tall, tall man--as in 6.5ft--and so far it's looking like this boy's going to be big too! Can't wait to finally be around for a birth! I missed the births of Ally (niece), Mason (nephew), McKenna (niece) and Serenity (niece) because I've been away but hopefully this time I'll be around!

So, as you can see, I haven't exactly been busy but a lot has happened. I'll try to keep everyone updated over the next month because there will definitely be stuff to write about--birthdays, adventures, moving, starting a new job and a few other little surprises. :)

A Little Weekend Getaway

About three weeks ago, my boss at Thomson Reuters lent us the keys to her caravan on the south coast and with a Friday free, we rented a car and took off for a little change of scenery!

Man, this was a much needed break. This was the first time in a year and half that we've actually been able to get away just the two off us. No seriously, it was really the first time. We haven't had time or money to do anything together, just the two of us, so taking this weekend off was such a welcome reprieve from a very monotonous life.

Early Friday morning Jeremy picked up the rental car from the city and we took off with many little side trips and jaunts along the NSW coast on our way down to Merry Beach near Bateman's Bay. It was so beautiful! I haven't seen so much green or so many wide open spaces in forever! And the ocean! It was vast, blue, silently stretching out over the horizon and hugging sleepy little hillside towns.

Driving along the Lawrence Hargreaves Drive.

One of those beautiful little coast towns--I think this is near Kiama. 

Jeremy was so wonderful to indulge me on every little photo stop I wanted to make!

I think this is at Coal Cliff? It's a small hamlet-sized town just along the cliff north of Wollongong.

Along the way we took several little scenic drives and stopped in Barry for lunch. Note to the wise: when parking in Barry, be sure you park rear to the curb. They issue parking tickets and their parking rangers are complete jerks--don't expect any leniency. Spoken from experience.

And with a $80 parking ticket to start our trip off with, we continued on our (fuming) way.

I wish I had taken photos of the Merry Beach Caravan Park itself because it was beautiful but truthfully, I was absolutely overcome with the amount of kangaroos just laying around that I couldn't control myself--I went into a snap happy trance for the next two days!

This is how we found them--just laying around and munching on grass in the sunset!

Upon arrival, we wandered around the campground the first night, foraged for kindling, made tracks on the beach, got up close with kangaroos and just chilled. It was pretty cold at night there so we started a fire in the fire pit and cooked some sausages on the grill. People were so nice there that I never wanted to leave! The pirate down the street (I think his name was Bruce? He was missing one eye behind his patch and literally flew a cross bones flag on the roof of his house!) lent us some kindling wood and the old man at the convenience store gave us some old bananas to feed the possums (which I never saw). They were just so lovely and chit-chatty. It was really refreshing to be smiled at by strangers and be lent a hand with something. People in Sydney are largely trolls but people in Merry Beach couldn't be farther from that. They are hospitable, kind and welcoming. I felt like I'd finally found the fabled Australia you always hear about in tourism ads--just a year and half late!

Gorgeous photo, huh? I just love kangaroos!!

Jeremy being super cute and happy to be out of the car!

I should probably back up here and mention that Thursday morning I woke up feeling a bit under the weather and by that evening, I was quite sick. We seriously considered not going at all but knowing this was my one and only weekend alone with Jeremy and out of Sydney for the last year or so, I decided nothing could keep me home. So, armed with $60 of cough drops, Theraflu, Nyquil and Kleenex, we headed south!

Now, back to Friday night... It was rough going. Neither of us slept well as Jeremy started coming down with what I had, and we sniffled, coughed and dripped our way through the night. Saturday morning was even tougher but we forced ourselves out and took a walk along the headlands around Merry Beach. 

Looking over Merry Beach from the south head.

Hmmm... No wales.

It's migrating season for blue wales and they come pretty close to the coast here; the man at the convenience store told us some had been sighted just a few days earlier but we never saw any. But we did get a good look at Pretty Beach in the next cove over and it's definitely lived up to it's name! So we wandered back through the bush and down to the most beautiful beach I've ever seen. 

Looking out over Pretty Beach from the head land.

That's one magnificent beach entrance, right? I thought so too.

There was a really interesting little peninsula of rocks jutting out from the beach that I really wanted to eat lunch on but the wind was strong and the tide was coming in fast with some monster waves (maybe 6-8ft?) and it didn't take us long to decide that getting stuck out there at high tide wouldn't be fun. 

I was too afraid to get close because you hear quite often in the news here about fishermen and whole families being swept off the rocks by rogue waves--dangerous stuff!

I don't think we ended up eating lunch at all actually. The fresh sea air was so therapeutic and cleansing that our energy really spiked and we just enjoyed walking along the beach, jumping on seaweed baubles, writing messages in the sand and looking for sea shells. Not to mention our noses cleared out and we could breath again!

I tried to do something artsy and fun with a fast shutter but Jeremy got sick and tired rather quickly of shuffling through the sand at a rapid pace.

We looked so glorious on just a few hours of sleep and a full day in the sun!

On the way out, we saw more kangaroos!

That evening around dusk (when the critters come out), I headed down to the beach with some bread in my pocket to feed the kangaroos. However, a story about a boy who was attacked by some kangaroos for a loaf of bread was lingering in the back of my head and when the wind picked up, a few of them definitely caught the scent of my little pocket surprise and about 10 of them started scooting towards me. I was so scared they would either eat me or beat me that I whipped out the bread and threw it as far away from me as I could!

This one seems to have some sort of cancer or growth on this nose--poor thing!

I LOVE this photo! Probably the best of the whole weekend.

Of course some serious kangaroo pouncing ensured and the started punching each other to get to the bread--just like in the cartoons! One kangaroo though, the first to notice the bread in my pocket, just scooted closer and closer to me, hoping I had more for her and her joey. Unfortunately I didn't and after a long stare-down, I think she got the picture because the look on her face said it all.

"What? No more?"

The rest of Saturday night is a bit of a blur in my mind. I think we read in bed for a little bit, sat next to the fire for a little bit and then just dissolved into two masses of yuck. Saturday night was even harder than the two nights that proceeded it and I didn't sleep much at all. 

In typical Kortney fashion, I got up early. I'm pretty sure I actually woke up sometime around 4 am as it was still very dark but didn't crawl out of my little heat hole until 6 am or so. My first thought was to get some seed and lure in some birds (which by the way, never came--poo!) but I when I walked outside, I got side tracked (again!) by kangaroos, this time just outside the front door!

Don't they look like a lama-rabbit cross breed?

Look at how big that talon is! Wouldn't want a kick from that!

They are such cool animals!

I hurried back in to grab some bread, leaving Jeremy too pieces and sacrificing my breakfast for the good of photography. It was obvious on was a mommy with her little joey hanging out but I was surprised to find that the other one hopping along our patio was also a mom! I had been hanging out with them for some time completely unaware that there was something inside the other's pouch when a little fur-less joey suddenly popped his head out! At first I was pretty sure it was fur-less but upon further thought (long after we left), I've decided it was probably an albino baby--a theory strengthened by my boss' local knowledge (she said two albinos live in the area). How cool is that?!

The albino baby!

Aren't those eyes adorable? It's no wonder I gave up my breakfast for them!

The water in the campervan was a bit brackish (fresh + salt water) so we took to showering at the park bathroom (which conveniently also had hot water, unlike our temporary home). So after our morning showers and a quick clean up of the campervan, we got on our way home. It was such a rough night and we both felt so sick that we really couldn't be bothered sticking around much longer. Not to mention we were running out of cough drops which was tantamount to an emergency. 

Very few detours this time. We were just excited to get home and get into our cozy bed where it was warm, big and comfy. We did, however, stop at a large Buddhist temple we saw along the way down: Nan Tien Temple which is supposedly the largest in the southern hemisphere. Located just south of Wollongong, this temple is easily spotted from the highway and well worth a stop.

The pagoda is huge, the gardens breath taking, the complex full of workshops like free calligraphy lessons, the architecture amazing and the people so hospitable (they even maintain a pilgrims lodge)! We really enjoyed wandering around and just stretching our legs for a bit (we hadn't left the car in hours). 

And then we got home and got in bed. I miraculously recovered Monday morning but Jeremy remained sick for another three days--poor guy! My enegery, however, did not return and it took us another week and a half to clean up our post-trip mess!

Elections Resolved

The election shave finally been resolved with an MP split of 76/74 towards Labour, meaning Julia Gillard has retained her seat as Prime Minister.

Watching these elections in Australia has been a strange experience. For the most part, Australians are rather indifferent regarding politics and it's generally considered bad manners to bring them up in conversation. However, things got busy during and the ousting of Kevin Rudd upset people enough to talk about it and adding to the drama was question of whether or not there would be enough votes for either side to form a government. But like most things political here, two weeks after the election, it was old news. No one really cared any longer who would be the next prime minister.

Which really surprised me. Americans care about their elections. It's big. The lead up to a presidential vote lasts two years. So when the final three independent MPs called a news conference mid day, mid week to announce which side they would ally with and only four people (myself included) tuned in to watch at work, I was a little taken aback. I mean, it's big news and no one could predict the outcome! I was really shocked that so few people took any interest at all. And even after the announcement was made, it really wasn't talked about at all and only got a further three days of news coverage.

One little annoyance: one of the guys who tuned in with our little group to watch the election was a guy who has harassed me at work before for being an American. He's the most annoying man I've ever met with the intelligence and humor of a tooth pick. We were all complaining about the last MP to announce his vote because he took forever rambling on about nothing at all--his family Christmas and other irrelevant crap. I mean, we were all complaining, but when I said (to the computer screen, might I add), "No one wants to hear about your family Christmas!" this guy turned to me and laid into me again about our president and his inauguration speech and blah, blah, blah. I've seriously had enough of people hating me for being an American and giving me crap for no reason other than they can, so I shut him up. I turned to him, cut him off and said, "Oh get over it already!" It really wasn't much of a response to his rantings but it made me feel good. I've been putting up with American hate for so long that telling someone to shut up just felt so good. At the very least he hasn't said anything to me since then--not a word--which is perfectly fine with me.

So there you have it! The elections resolved! Hopefully the world can start turning again now and we can get this damn visa processed already.

Back on the Job Hunt

It's that time again!! (You can't tell, but that exclamation is DRIPPING with sarcasm.)

I finished my last day at CRG yesterday. It was sad. I really liked the people I worked with there and they really liked me. I wasn't sure up until yesterday but they gave me a really nice going away party with the world's most delicious chocolate cake, a book and a nice bath set from the Body Shop. And the general manager even made a nice speech about me and how I'd added value to the company and helped them win back some major pharmaceutical company contracts. It was a good way to go.

Why am I going? It's complicated but I'll try to explain. My first visa in Australia was a Working Holiday visa which allowed me to stay for a year and work up to 6 months in any work place (ie. I can work for 6 months at CRG and simultaneously 6 months at Thomson Reuters and then do another 6 months somewhere else if I want to). Just before that visa expired, we submitted an application for a Temporary Partner visa which essentially means I'm become Jeremy's common law wife and he remains my sponsor. However, that visa application is still in processing and yet to be approved and so, in the meantime, I am on a Bridging Visa (type A).

What is that? A Bridging Visa does as it says--holds you over during processing until your next visa comes through. It carries all the work rights of your previous visa which, in my case, is the Working Holiday visa. So, even though I'm not technically on that visa anymore, I'm still restricted as though I were.

So, having been at CRG for 6 months, I had to quit lest I break my visa restrictions (and risk deportation). Same goes for Thomson Reuters though my last day there isn't for a couple more weeks.

Thus, the hunt begins. I've already turned in a few applications and I need to do more, but we'll see what happens. It's hard to find the energy to keep trying when you've had such rotten luck in the past.

Elections Follow-up

So, I didn't follow-up the elections before and I apologize for that (to my three or four readers). But nothing is resolved yet. There was basically a tie between Labour and Liberal and they have been recounting ballots for weeks. As it stands, Labour has 73 and the Liberals have 72; to form a government, you need 76. There are three independents MPs left who can end this election conundrum but they need to form an alliance with one of the parties. And pretty much all of them need to side with one side.

So what we've got going on now is the two party leaders making some pretty sketchy deals trying to woo those independents. Recently, the fourth among them made a deal with Labour after Tony Abbott of the Liberals made a ridiculous offer of $1 billion to Hobart hospitals for his allegiance--which ultimately insulted the MP because he felt that was unreasonable and at the cost of the rest of Australia. It's also become apparent in the last week that the Liberals, who were reluctant to hand over their proposed budget to the MPs, have actually been campaigning saying they will bring the country out of debt without accounting for an $11 billion hole in their budget (probably allocated to remote independent constituent hospitals).

It's a zoo.

So what happens if the independents split evenly and neither party makes it to 76 seats? In that situation, the Governor General (the Queen's representative in Australia) steps in and with either decide the election herself (not likely) or call a new election. However, the Governor General has a conflict of interest since her daughter is married to one of the leading Liberal MPs.

That's leaves an election, right? Which means no MP can be sure of their seat. And means this election is going to take a long time to resolve.

Of course, the Independents could side with one or the other and just end it all. For a while that is. Because whoever the opposing party is of the new government would have enough MPs to carry out a vote of no confidence and send the government back to elections within 6 months. Both sides have said publicly that they will not do this but I don't believe them. Not even a little bit. This has become such an ugly election and they both want it so bad--someone will be challenged.

How does this effect me? Well, let me tell you! Until the election is settled and the MPs can take their seats, the government has stopped processing all visas. Ha! Just what I need, right? What's another 6 months of waiting to get on with my life?

I'm sick of elections.

Election Eve in Australia

Tomorrow morning marks the beginning of the end of elections. For the next 36 or so hours, I expect to hear nothing but endless political polling, pondering and postering about the Astralian national election. And then, I suspect Australian will revert once again to it's general mumness on politics (it's pretty uncommon to hear Aussies discuss politics openly).

But seeing how it's actually an important event and one that doesn't come around too often, I thought I should blog about it.

First, I should say that all Australians over the age of 18 are required by law to vote. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Jeremy tells me that the root of the law was based on the notion that the government wanted a force to equal out the royalists (those favoring the monarchy) which were very vocal in Australia's early days. And so, by forcing Australians to vote, they forced the people to build the country. Makes sense, but it's kinda of a misnomer to force people to exercise their rights, and isn't the ultimate show of democracy the right to choose not to partake in it?

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that Australia is at a cross road. On June 24th, former Labour Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was overthrown by his Deputy Prime Minister (ie. Vice President) Julia Gillard and the Labour Party in the face of unfavorable polls. It happened because the Australian parliamentary government works like this: Australians vote for a party and the party appoints a leader (in this case, the leader was Kevin Rudd). However, if that leader loses favor with the public and starts dropping in the polls, their party can (and often does) oust them with a vote to elect a new leader.

PM Kevin Rudd was elected with one of the highest approval ratings of any Australian Prime Minister, riding in and making some much needed changes. Upon election in 2007, K-Rudd (or KRudd -- both loving nicknames) ratified the Kyoto Protocol and made a public apology to the Stolen Generations (Aboriginals and Torres Strait Islanders removed from their homes in the mid-90s by the government and the church in an effort to "remove the black in them"). These were immensely popular moves that catapulted Rudd into the stratosphere of popularity. Not only that, but he held the country together during the GFC and is fluent in Chinese (making international relations with their big neighbor better).

But following the International Summit on Climate Change and in light of the international community's reluctance to adopt any serious stance on the environment, Kevin Rudd dropped his policy on carbon trading and refocused on taxing the coal mining industry in Australia (which btw, is one of Australia's biggest exports). The original proposal was for a 40% tax increase on profits called "The Super-Profits Tax." As you can imagine, some mining companies were unhappy about this and the Liberal coalition (Liberal Party + National Party) started towing the line that this tax would drive out businesses and cost Australian's jobs, ultimately ruining the economy. The tax proved too much for Kevin Rudd's popularity and so, with two and a half years as Prime Minister, his party voted him out and his Deputy in out of fear that an unpopular PM would cost them the general election should one be called. (Given that an election must be called once every three years (and Rudd was at two and a half) the election was looming and pressure was rising.)

Talk of Julia Gillard taking over circulated for about a week before it happened though she assured everyone that it was just talk and that she fully supported Kevin Rudd. So it was a bit of a shock when word got out late in the afternoon June 23rd that she was going to challenge him, and even more of a shock when he announced early the next morning that he had resigned and that Julia Gillard was the new Prime Minister, voted in unanimously by his party in the wee hours of the morning.

It's not the first time this has happened (other Prime Ministers include Bob Hawke by Paul Keating while the practice of ousting the leader happens frequently on the Premier level (akin to State Governor) and among the opposition party (ie. whichever party isn't in power)). But people have been upset that Julia Gillard would oust him so quickly and with so much support, despite their growing discontent with his policies. So, with just a few weeks under her belt, Julia Gillard called an election for August 21st to justify her rise to power and hopefully right some wrongs and placate a few dissidents by resolving outstanding issues.

But it's been a hard slog (as the Aussies would say) because even though Ms. Gillard was relatively popular as a Deputy Prime Minister, she's up against a formidable foe: the Liberal Party leader, Tony Abbott.

Now, when I say "formidable", I mean "outspoken", "blokey" and "equally conservative as she is liberal". (Side note: even though they are called the Liberal Party, they are actually conservative ala Republican Style. They are also Royalists (loyal to the Queen) which is decidedly a conservative platform).

About the Candidates
Prime Minister Julia Gillard is surprisingly a single, Athiest woman (oh God, she'd never make it in American politics!) who is in a long-term De-Facto (Common Law Marriage) relationship with a hairdresser. And she doesn't plan on getting married. She was born in Wales (also a no-go for American presidential-hopefuls). She used to be a lawyer for Slater & Gordon (a very large top-tier firm specializing in tort law).

Tony Abbott is a married man with two or three daughters. He's well known for his athleticism, having recently competed in several big races (including an 100km "ultrathon"), and can usually be found in his Speedo on Bondi Beach talking up voters. (But we must give credit where credit is due--he pulls off a speedo well.) Born in London, he originally intended to enter the Catholic priesthood but gave it up for politics, earning himself the title "The Mad Monk."

The Battle
Since Gillard came to office, she has ended the mining tax fiasco by agreeing with the mining companies on a 30% tax increase though it continues to be the leading complaint of the Liberals, primarily because a couple companies have renegaded on the deal and because she has proposed a civilian council/summit to hear people's opinions on the tax. This is one thing that I really don't get--to me, getting civilian opinions and feedback on this sort of issue seems like a really good idea (maybe it's an American thing?), but most Australians are just all out of sorts over it and some quite frankly pissed off. They believe the government is elected and should just make decisions as they see fit and not bother them, the lowly, uneducated people with complicated matters like this. What?!? I just don't get it. I really don't. They are mad but they don't want anyone to listen to them... It's confusing.

Other rather unpopular Labour policies include a website called My School (aimed at creating transparency of school and student performance to parents and the general public), a home insulation program (which resulted in a few home fires due to poorly trained contractors), and a school building scheme (which resulted in mismanaged funds when contractors inflated their costs). One big and personally concerning policy of Labour is the proposal of a nationwide internet filter to weed out things like child pornography (good), but a Wikileaks report showed that the proposed blacklist of the filter also included activist and political groups (not good). While I think it's universally agreed that ridding the internet of heinous crap like child porn is an overwhelming good thing, there is just too much potential for such a web filtering program to be abused on a national scale. Plus, trials and tests have shown the filter is easy to get around.But the trade is that they'll improve Australia's internet connectivity (like 100 fold).

Unpopular Liberal policies include an increase on grocery taxes, increases on power rates, hospital funding cuts, no faith in climate change (planting trees and reducing carbon pollution by 5% isn't enough methinks), they really aren't keen on immigration (maybe that's why it's taking so long for my visa to be approved?), and they are not serious about improving Australia's internet (they see laying fiber optics as a private industrial responsibility which means it won't happen and so all internet connections are running on old copper telephone cables ran by a monopoly--Telstra).

My Personal Opinion
Neither politicians are spectacular. Julia Gillard impressed me once upon a time as an eloquent woman, well spoken on her views and policies but she's been drug into the political mud-slinging rat race. She's lost her dazzle (kinda like Obama, I'm sorry to admit). Tony Abbott is shmarmy and reminds me more of a used car salesman than politician (though I guess they're not that different really). You just know this guy has a lot full of lemons he'd love to show you. And I really dislike the tone he takes and the distrust he exudes when it comes to asylum seekers which he loves calling "Boat People" (it's like calling a Mexican a Beaner--it's rude). I hate that neither side is taking the climate seriously which is in peril.

I can't vote in this election because I'm not a citizen, but if I were, I'd vote Labour--or better, Green Party (it's getting late so I won't explain them--they won't win anyway). Why? Because I believe in health care, gay marriage, I'm pro-immigration (obviously), and climate is high on my list. Jeremy feels the same.

This election is important because the next administration will have to tackle some pretty big issues: climate, mining, the GFC, IT development, housing costs (which are out of this world), and capping Australia's population. I just wish that the two big choices here were more competent people. Lots of Australians have expressed to me that they don't like either choice, so it may mean a lot more go Green, and if they do, we may see a Bush-Gore re-run where the Greens steal some of the Labour vote and the Liberals (conservatives) win. We'll find out tomorrow! Stay tuned!

Race Day: City 2 Surf

Last Sunday was the day of reckoning: City 2 Surf race day. Jeremy has been training for three month and it finally time to see if all that training had paid off.

So early in the morning, I pushed him out the door with a camel back and a pocket full of Gu to run14kms from downtown Sydney to Bondi Beach.

He was in the second heet of racers so we could see the blue heet (the first to leave) just finishing as we arrived at the start line. Yes, that is the blue heet jam packed onto the road and stretching out for kilometers. Oddly, while we stood there warming up, just minutes after the last blue runner crossed the starting line, the radio hosts announced that the had just been won by a man who ran the whole thing in 40 minutes! It's amazing to think the last guy in his heet had barely even started!

Jeremy, of course, wasn't running to win it (maybe next year?) but enjoyed showing off his bulging biceps for me anyway as I watched him get all stretched out for the big start.

And before I knew it, he was gone! Off and running as one of the last few out of the yellow heet. And so began another race: trying to get to Bondi Beach. 

The majority of the Bondi train line is underground but there is one brief moment where it pops up near Double Bay and I got my one sweet shot of the race around half way. The trains themselves were pretty empty but the buses were a bit full and as I descended the hill down to Bondi on a special service bus, I could see lots of runners making their way back to the train station.

The beach was packed with thousands of runners and family members cheering them on as the crossed the finish line.

80,000 people -- that's how many were out to run the race that day! And when I look back on photos like this one near the finish line, I can only wonder how many were trampled...

And what race would be complete without a few famous faces?

Like Duff Man of Simpson's fame.

 Or Batman? (Robin was just behind him.)

Or just those entirely unashamed to beg for attention? (I thought it was pretty funny. I bet they had terrible sun burns!)

But my favorite runner was this guy:

I waited for an hour to see him run up to the finish line but he slipped past me and we only found each other a whole 45 minutes later. And how did this sporty man do? He finished at 1:25:27 and 23,744th place. Not bad I say! A whole half hour better than he thought he would do!

I was and still am so proud of him for finishing and for running the whole thing. He is such an amazing guy!

The rest of our day was at a bit slower pace. We walked back to Bondi Junction to catch a train (stopping for bagels and Borjomi Georgian water along the way) and then did nothing for the rest of the afternoon. His knees and feet hurt a bit from pounding the pavement but all in all, it was a success. 

Next year, maybe I'll run with him. :)