Yesterday was Jeremy's first day back at work and I just find myself completely boggled how 5 days could go so fast! I imagine that's because we largely slept through them. After coming back from vacation and staying up ridiculously late, we both found it pretty easy to sleep in each day.
New Year's day we met up with some friends in North Sydney for a picnic on the harbour. It was really beautiful and the sunset was incredible with the city and the opera house sillouhetted against the orange and purple sky. Australia has the most magnificent sunsets but living in the city often makes it difficult to see one. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera on me--and I really do mean unfortunately. It was the perfect evening. We rode around the harbour on a ferry to get home under the most gorgeous sky. For the first time, Sydney felt like home.
Living here has been a bit difficult as it's really hard to meet people in Sydney. We've been introduced to several people and have even gone to a few parties but can't seem to find anyone we just click with. I don't want to force friendships but that's kind of what everything feels like. So far, all of the girls I've met have been shopoholics and that's all they talk about. I just can't relate. I have nothing to say when the girls I'm with start talking about their favorite stores or the lates sale. We don't have money to spend and even if we did, I wouldn't want to spend it because a) it's all over priced or b) it doesn't come in my size. I feel like I can't find any girls with any real intelligence. Doesn't anyone talk about books anymore? Religion? Philosophy? Education?
On Christmas Eve, we went to a party at the request of a friend who almost clicks. However, we had no idea it wasn't his party and we didn't know that it was just a close group of friends or a sit down dinner. So, when asked to bring a dish, I just picked up a frozen Sara Lee cheesecake from the store. When I gave it to the host she was a little surprised and I said, "Oh, I've been baking pumpkin pie all day and just couldn't take the heat anymore so I figured a simple dessert would be fine." I late found out that they were expecting (though it was never communicated to us) a main course dish like chicken or au gratin potatoes. I was just a bit mortified.
But more than that, no matter how hard we tried to engage the other people at the party in conversation, no one was really willing to talk with us. One guy was a photographer so I tried talking about cameras and publishing with him. Nothing. Two guys raced mountain bikes so Jeremy tried to talk bike stuff (he's really getting in to it) with them. Nothing. We tried to bring up the usual interesting and conversation-worthy facts about us like I'm and American and Jeremy traveled to Iran. Nothing. In fact, they didn't even know where Iran was. I felt like I had been knocking on a door for three hours with still no answer.
Later, once dinner was served, pretty much everyone stopped talking to us and carried on their own conversation full of inside jokes and friendly banter. We were completely left out of it. So I quietly asked J if he wanted to go home and we both agreed that once dinner was done we should leave and at least get some sleep--it was already 11:00 pm (we also didn't know it would be a late party). I was a little surprised when the host acted hurt that we were leaving soon as she hadn't made any effort at all during the night to talk with us. I felt a bit bad that we were leaving early after eating a dinner she had prepared so I insisted that they keep the cheesecake as well as the presents we brought for the Chinese auction. Her reaction was a short and quick, "Yep, that's fine, okay, have a good Christmas," and we were ushered out the door.
To say the least, it was a weird night. But this sort of thing has happened on a few occassions and I just hate feeling unwanted.
So, I've been trying to do something about it. I'm on the hunt for friends. Maybe this should be my tenth resolution: to find friends. I started with Gumtree (like Craigslist) on Monday. From there, I got hooked up with a photography group that is meeting on Saturday and will hopefully give me some artistic outlet with like minded people. I also placed an ad for starting a boardgame group which got several responses from other couples--maybe that'll be a good way to meet people? I also placed an ad for a swim buddy so I have someone to hold me accountable to my exercise plan but so far no one has responded. But it's a start.
Maybe a couple more friends will make Sydney start to feel like home.
9 comments:
Wow, that is sure frustrating! Keep trying. I've known some cool Aussies over here so there has to be at least a few there. I think your joining the photography and board games groups is an excellent idea! I've found that, around here at least, those who like to play board games are generally nice people.
Most of all, make sure you are making friends who love God more than anything. Stay in fellowship with other believers no matter where you go so you can continue to be encouraged and pointed toward Christ.
I love you, girl!
So, something to read. I really liked this one. "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett.
What a weird dinner party! :P
Keep trying to meet people though! Sounds like you're looking in some good areas. :)
Hang in there, girl. That's a crappy and lonely place to be in. Sounds like you are making a great effort to get to know new people with like interests. Something will come of all that.
Have you tried church?
Love you!
Yes, it was a weird party to say the least. As for the boardgames, I'm happy to say that I got a few good responses and will probably set up a meeting with people in the next few weeks. However, I am still disgusted by the crappy responses you get from these public forums; one response was from a couple who were just looking for other swingers. It totally frazzled me for the rest of the day. Stuff like that just makes me sick. I felt there was little room for interpretation with "boardgames."
As for friends at church, I have not met or made a single friend at church since I was in 9th grade. I generally find people at church to be disingenuous and a little too hypnotic for my tastes.
When I went to live in Boston a few years ago, I was in a similar situation. I was lucky enough to have my now-husband Peter and three other guy friends 30-40 minutes from where I lived, but I went home alone in a strange place without enough money to buy food every night.
Yeah, it sucked!
But I bring it up because it was THAT situation that brought Peter and me together. We both struggled, learned, and clung to one another in a way that would not have happened otherwise--at least, not before 10 years of marriage!
It's amazing what combining finances, struggling to make ends meet, and being lonely together can do for a relationship if both people are committed and love one another.
And then when we got engaged, drama ensued. People said we hadn't done things right, that we shouldn't be getting married, and all that crap. I imagine you get the same hassles and 'moral thwappings' I did because you and your boy live together and *GASP* aren't married.
Well. Ignore them. Keep your chin up. You're doing a good thing, learning valuable lessons, exploring and deepening your relationship with a man you love and cherish, and who I am sure loves and cherishes you.
I'm sure you know all that, but sometimes it's nice just to hear it. :-)
I hope you get tons of people for your board games group. Hell, I wish I had a board games group in MY area.
I love you Michelle. Thanks for hearing me and being there! You're right--even if I don't know anyone here, I still live with my best friend. :)
And I think you should just start a board game group too, maybe on Craigslist or something. So far, I've gotten some really great responses! I think we're going to meet on the 30th and have some drinks. Can't wait!!
Good friends are hard to find. However, the experience you two are living right now just means that you'll appreciate your true friends that much more. Be glad to have a few close friends in various around the world rather than heaps of random, ill-fitted acquaintances. Be you, do what you like to do, and friends will appear. My husband and I are kind of going through the same thing right now in Qatar. It is hard! :)
So true... Lots of ill fit acquaintences but some really wonderful friend scattered around the world. Hopefully one day there will be one good friend everywhere I go. :)
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