Fools Rush In

My weekend didn't go exactly as planned. I've finally realized the dog that Hansu really is after waking up to realize I'd been played. I was pretty shocked, but upon further thought I've realized that I knew this was coming all along. How could I expect more from Korean men? I already knew they were lying, cheating, dirty players... Why should I expect different from him?

But that's not the issue. I'm already over him. The bigger problem is this giant hole in my heart that I tried to fill with him. I've always known it was there; I just kind of left it at school when I moved out of my apartment and into the real world. After a lot of prayer and reflection last night, God reminded me of an article I wrote for The Talon a couple years ago on one lonely Valentine's Day. (I figured it was time to dig it back up and go over it again.)

Yep, it still makes sense.

I made a mistake. I let myself get carried away in a moment (or month?) of loneliness and became emotionally promiscuous. But the joy of knowing Christ is knowing that He forgives me completely for my "mental leave of absence" and is going to grow me from this experience. I didn't realize how many lies, temptations, and false securities the enemy had slipped in to my life but I won't be fooled again. Yes, I want a boyfriend so bad that it sucks everyday, but I needed this experience to remind me that just any-boyfriend won't do. Back at home I certainly had my chances with a couple really great guys. Why did I turn them down? Because I knew it wasn't love and it wouldn't last. I can't let down my guard and I can't ease my standards in the face of an increasingly lonely life. To do so would be a far greater tragedy as I might miss out on a truly wonderful man who actually will last forever.

Anyhow, I felt like I needed to share this article with some of my fellow sisters (or brothers, I guess) who might need a similar reminder. Continue to keep me in your prayers. I am certainly being challenged everyday here--no fellowship, no church, no trusted friends, no accountability. If I'm supposed to learn how to walk out my faith then God dropped me onto a treadmill.

The following post ("A cure for the terminally single") is the article I published in the 2006 February edition of The Talon Journal.