Love and Loathing

LOVE: There is this super cute guy in my boys school who works in the administration office who really likes me, and you know, I think I like him too. However, there is this *small* problem--he doesn't speak English and I don't speak Korean!!! LOL! But somehow it doesn't really matter. A couple months ago I read a book called Kabul Beauty School, and in the book this American woman has an arranged marriage with a Saudi man and neither knows the other's language. At the time I thought they were crazy, but now I find myself in a similar situation (minus the whole arranged marriage). This guys has the most amazing smile and a very kind heart. Sometimes when I'm walking in the hall, on my way to or back from class, we will cross paths and he just lights up and blushes. I'm sure I do too... :) Another teacher drove me home after work last night and as we crawled into her compact car she said, "You know, Kortney, he is the only single man in our school." Highly suggestive, eh? He's 28 yrs old. Even if nothing comes of it, he's certainly challenging me to learn more Korean!

LOATHING: Last night I went to dinner with all of the foreign language teachers from the girls high school and it was my misfortune to be seated next to this one male teacher. I don't know his name because we had never met before, but for some reason he felt brave enough to paw me on a couple occasions. I was so angry. It is highly offensive for any man to touch another woman in Korean culture. Married couples rarely even hold hands in public! And yet here was this guy putting his hand on my leg!! I seriously wanted to break his arm. A part of me wishes I did. However, I would just move away and pretend like it didn't happen. I really didn't want to embarrass the other teachers or cause a scene in the restaurant--but he certainly pushed my limits.

Near the end of the dinner he put his hand on my leg again, leaned close to me, and said, "You and me go on date?" I gave him the foulest look I have and said in the most stern voice I could muster, "No. No way." He backed off, but a few minutes later he made another attempt. The teachers had all began talking about my dance classes (like I said, no private life) and thought it would be fun if I danced for them. Of course I refused--I'm no stripper. But this man once again leaned in towards me while no one was listening and said, "I hope that one day I can dance with you." Talk about creeped out!! I said loud enough for everyone to hear, "In your dreams. You have no chance with me. No chance at all." For a few seconds everyone kinda stared at us in confused silence and then conversation continued as normal. I was so angry.

After thinking about it all night, I decided I had to say something. Other questionable things have been said to me before which I decided were just cultural misunderstandings, but there is no misunderstanding in touching a woman's leg and this man is an English teacher--he knows the meaning of what he said. So, upon coming to school today, I told my good friend Shin what happened and I explained to her that this is unacceptable. At first she didn't believe me and tried to suggest that he didn't understand what his words meant, but I insisted that he did. He knew what he was doing. I asked her to convey to this male teacher that should this ever happen again, I won't be so kind. But if you know me, I cry when I'm angry, and a couple other teachers saw me cry before I went to the bathroom, which apparently led to some conversation in my absence (again, no private life). But I'm kind of glad they did. One of the teachers, Jeong (my friend who was also at the dinner), was very upset on my behalf and (I was told later) told the man to apologize to me.

I'm so glad that someone stood up for me. Sometimes woman have get no respect in Korea and I didn't know how things would go over if I said anything. I don't know if there are any sexual harassment laws in Korea but Shin assured me that it isn't acceptable, and Jeong's actions have let me know that I at least have a couple advocates here. You know, it wasn't until 2005 that women even had custody rights in divorce cases? Yeah, that's why I was so afraid to say anything. In any event, he did apologize in an instant message through the school program, but as expected, he used "cultural differences" as his excuse. Yeah, right... Like I'm so dense I would believe that! I'm not really sure what to say in return, but I've learned that my words must be chosen well--he's apparently good friends with the principal. Hmph. Sometimes Korea is just too much...