Babies

**Disclaimer: I am in no way saying I want kids right now. This is purely a musing on the wonders of life and love and their limitless boundaries.**

My sweet nephew Max about three years ago.

A lot of my friends (and my siblings!) have been having babies these past few years and watching them grow up has been so rewarding. I love seeing them learn new things, make new friends, laugh for the first time, smile big smiles, give big hugs, walk, talk and even snore! It's beautiful seeing life unfold like this.

Lately, quite a few of my friends have been having babies. Since June, six of my friends have had kids and hearing their stories warms my heart in a really beautiful way. Today I read the story of one friend's natural birth and it really made me tear up. One thing that I keep hearing over and over is how that first sight of your baby is the most incredible, instantaneous and overpowering love you will ever feel. You don't care that your body is in pain, that there's blood or that you're naked and people are looking at you. The world just fades away... And it's only you two.

My friend, in her blog, talked about cutting the umbilical cord but that for a few moments, she got to sit there, holding her little child, connected, breathing together, sharing the same body for one last time. It really hit me hard at that point how beautiful birth is. To share life with another human being. Is there any connection in the world stronger than the love of a mother for her child? To give life and literally share life. It is the most precious gift anyone can ever give. In this regard, women are most certainly the most blessed of our kind.

Several of my friends have planned natural births and a few have had to abandon ship; this particular friend had an uncomplicated natural birth in a birthing center without drugs. Just a warm bath, a stool and a few women who know the trade. I think that's beautiful. I think it's absolutely incredible that our bodies are naturally equipped and designed to give birth in such a dramatic fashion. I'm neither for nor against hospital births but when I hear accounts of women who've done it the old fashioned way, I sometimes wonder why we've complicated things. Is it for security? Is it to lessen the pain? Is it to prevent infection? A lot of women choose hospital births for different reasons but wow, I have tremendous respect for the ones who do it naturally.

Jeremy's sister is having a baby in Jan/Feb which has had me thinking a lot about our family. I have no doubt we'll have an amazing one. We've often talked about the size, the names, the home, the rules, the upbringing and the life we want to give them. Those are such special moments between us. 

Jeremy is going to be an amazing dad. He is so good with children and they love him--I mean, really, they love him. He chases them, he encourages them, he teaches them, he picks them up and tickles them. I guess it's something instinctive in women that we look for a good provider, protector and co-carer for our families because when I look at him and how he plays with kids, I get fluttery and I grow even more sure that I've met the most perfect man to share my life with. He tells me that he still feels a bit scared about being a parent and unsure how to do it, but I know it's just because he can't see what I can; I'm positive it'll come natural to him just like that initial, all-encompassing love comes to a mother.

I can definitely wait to have babies. I need more time to be me, travel, have a career, support Jeremy in his and figure stuff out, but I look forward to the great adventure ahead of us and I can't wait to share my own story one day. 

It Gets Better

Something has changed in the atmosphere and I feel like my luck has been renewed after an incredible week, but with that renewal and as I approach the conclusion of another year on earth, I also find myself contemplating some big issues.

I'm thinking about heaven and hell and why people--human people--believe they have the right to tell anyone else where they will end up. It really pisses me off when people do this because it's such a primitive power-play where the accuser invokes some divine right to determine the eternal outcome of another person. It's abusive. It's wrong. It's bigoted. And I can hardly manage even a shred of respect for people who do this. In fact, I've cut relations with several people over the last year who've made those sort of accusations (whether at me or anyone else) because I honestly believe that kind of person has too little decency to be considered my friend.

A lot of that stems from my experience over the past two + years. Yeah, I'm a Christian and I'm living with my Jewish boyfriend--so what? It shouldn't be an issue but it is for some people. Some people think so highly of themselves that they have told me I'm going to hell. Well! In a sense they were right because those sort of comments have made the couple years for me a living hell in which them and their fellow minions ruled. 

That same kind of thing happened to someone else this week when a boy named Tyler Clementi committed suicide.

Tyler was a quite but promising student at Rutger's University in NY who had a secret: he was gay. One night, he asked his roommate to leave him their room for the evening and while his roommate was out, he invited another boy in where they shared some intimacy. Unbeknownst to him, his roommate was in another room on the floor collaborating with a girl and together they accessed a webcam in Tyler's dorm room, broadcasting over the internet Tyler's sexual encounter. 

Three days later, Tyler left his belongings on the side of the road and jumped from the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson, and never returned.

The two who made the broadcast have since been charged with invasion of privacy which carries a penalty of up to 5 years in prison. I say that's not enough. They didn't just invade Tyler's privacy, they bullied him and then they buried him. They made his life such a living hell that he didn't think he could stand it anymore. I bet he was feeling completely isolated, made a fool, ashamed and violated. I bet what he felt was not much different that what I felt when those assholes told me I was going to hell. 

Invasion of privacy? How about criminally hateful because that's exactly what it was. It was a hate crime. 

I'm really tired of hearing stories like this--stories of people so beat down by religious or otherwise bullies who suppose some position of power over others. I'm tired of hearing stories of suicide because people felt isolated and stories of depression, stress or anxiety because someone told them they were going to hell. I feel downright pissed off. I feel so enraged because things like this happen and the only justice offered to people like Tyler is a piddly privacy invasion charge! It's not right! And maybe it's wrong or hypocritical of me to say this but if you feel the same way--100% infuriated that this has be allowed--then why aren't you doing something? Why aren't more people speaking up and fighting on the behalf of others? Why aren't more people going to the polls with their vote? Why aren't more people writing their senators and congressmen/women? Why aren't we banding together for freedom to choose who you love? Why are we letting this hell continue?

A few people stood up for me in the last year. Just a few. But you know what? Those few felt like a million because when you're in a corner and it's just you or just you and your partner against the world, an extra set of hands and an extra voice might be just enough help to withstand it all.

I don't know how I made it through it. I don't know how Jeremy made it through it. But I do know that we did. And it's better.

Today I was talking with a wise old friend and I realized that I'm not hurting any more. I'm not dying inside when those words haunt me. I don't crumble and cower when I face my accusers. In fact, it's the opposite--they give me power. I don't know if it'll happen everyday but today, at least, I am empowered by other people's hate and I'm going to do something good with it. 

I'm going to speak up for people like Tyler and say it it loud and proud, "Gay people deserve decency, privacy and human value too! And the sooner you find an appreciation for that kind of innocent love, the more lives you can save!". 

I'm going to say it right here and now for myself: "If you don't agree with my life choices, either shut the hell up (literally) or go home--I don't have time for your childish games."

And I'm going to promise you that if you're going through something hard--be it your sexuality, your religion, your family or your health--it get's better and you'll get through it! And when you do, you'll feel empowered too. 

For more hope and words of encouragement from people who survived, check out Dan Savage's video blog: It Gets Better on You Tube.

Transitions?

This blog tends to change format every time my life goes into transition and I'm starting to feel the need to move my life around a bit. That and I realized some of the features of my old template weren't really working for me.

But changing this blog around has once again made me think about it's purpose, I mean really, what am I doing here? Over the last three years, it's gone through a few looks being a place for my adventures in Korea, a place for my photography, a journal of my backpacking trip, a place for me to just sit down and talk (hence the couch on my last template), and now... what?

As I sit here and contemplate the struggles I've had over the last year and my feelings about the options I have for the next year, I find myself honestly ping-ponging between depressed and ambivalent--not excited. What I miss is the adventure, the excitement, the unknown and the surprise of everyday life--of living truly in the moment.

I feel a bit sad that at 25 it feels like my adventures are ending with a 9-5 job and a moldy apartment but I'm not going to give up because the journey isn't over yet. I'm in love with the most wonderful man and together we're carving our way through international waters, living life and loving each other. We have plans and dreams and we're going to get there! And my photography! Things are going well and I've got some great references and amazing pieces to show for my hard work. It might feel like I'm at the end of the road but I'm really still somewhere near the beginning.

So, this blog--The Journey of a 21st Century Nomad--whether it's written from an exotic location or the comfort of my couch (favorite writing location), is about walking that road of life and love and learning as I go. Adventures of a different kind? Perhaps. I hope a bit of the exciting laying with tigers sort of stuff is in there too but primarily, this place is about dealing with life as it comes at you--not looking back, but always moving forward.

'Till death do us part.

Earlier this week I read a blog post about the seriousness of those sacred vows and what it really means, and by the end, I was just an absolute pile of snot and tears.

I used to dream of this beautiful, unconditional love I would one day have when I got married and though I dreamed of it, I never had any real idea how wonderful it would be. It's a million times more amazing than I ever imagined. And having found that love, you never, ever want to spend another day without it.

Yesterday I spent the night talking on Skype with a friend who was in tears because she was lonely and longed for that kind of love. She lamented that her married friends have forgotten how hard it is to be single and it's true--I've forgotten because even when I just think about what it would be like to lose Jeremy--to lose my puzzle piece--the emptiness of that thought is enough to make my heart skip a beat.

I am over my head in an ocean of love. The kind of transforming love that makes you grow gills and turns you into a completely different creature. It's a whole new world, this kind of love. Twenty-thousand leagues under the sea, under the blankets, under the stars, under all the layers, I am a changed person because someone loves me. I can't imagine living in the single world again because it's not the kind of place people like me--transformed people--can live anymore.

There came a point while we were traveling that I had to make plans to go to Australia from Singapore while Jeremy went to Iran, and we thought we could do it. We'd be apart for maybe three months and then we'd be together again. But it only took a week and a half to realize a month was too long and we made plans for me to stick it out in Malaysia and wait for him. He would come. I would find him. And we would breathe again.

During that time that we were apart, a lot of thinking was done as well as a lot of crying and pining and love-letter writing. And one poem Jeremy wrote for me stood out from all the rest and since that day, I've always carried a copy of it in my wallet. He wrote:

Keeping you close to me,
Our time apart is too long,
Run on hours and bring her
To my loving arms!
New memories burst into life,
Each lovingly treasured;
Young and old, we shall be together.

Young and old, we shall be together. To hear those words in my moment of isolation... I've never wanted to be apart again. And we haven't.

'Till death do us part. It's a vow I've already made in my heart. Though it hasn't been uttered on an alter or made before an audience, the change is already complete. I am a new creature; I've already been transformed. No, I don't remember what it's like to be single anymore because my life now is radically different. I couldn't thrive there, I couldn't survive there. My heart has been united for some time now to the one person I've vowed to never leave... This kind of love is life sustaining. Yes, it's a sappy, over the top, kinda makes you want to puke a bit sort of love. But it's our love and it's precious, and nothing can tear it apart but death. This kind of love is forever.

By the time I return to read your comments tomorrow, my beautiful, old college friend Bethany will have married a wonderful man named Eric, and they shall be together too, 'till death do they part. Forever and ever, they will be tied together, transformed, changed, happily sinking further and further into an ocean of love. And every morning, waking up next to each other, it will be bliss. And every night, falling asleep holding hands, will be bliss too.

Marriage is a powerful thing.

Congratulations, Beth; the most beautiful and fulfilling earthly love you've ever known is ahead of you. I wish you and Eric both everything--flowers, poems, hand holding, babies, kisses, cuddles and joy. You will surely have it all and more. :)

That Time Jeremy Turned 29

Dear Jeremy,

I'm sorry I didn't post this sooner but I've been busy having so much fun with you! Happy Birthday, my love! You mean the world to me and though I can imagine what life would be like without you, I can't imagine it being any better.

You are such a wonderful friend--a best friend. Meeting you was a surprise from the start. I didn't even think you liked me on that first date but having you call me nearly every night afterwards was a major confidence booster. I was never serious about any guys before I met you but then again, I had never met anyone like you. Being with you is like being home. I've never once felt uncomfortable with you. The honesty and love we share came upon me without me even knowing it. It was the most natural thing, like waking up slowly from a nap.

Of course, it's easy to love a face like yours! It's like I said the other day when we were exhausted after a tickle war, being married is like being 12 again but always having someone to play with! I remember the day, almost two years ago, when I told you that you were my best friend and you returned the compliment with a tear in your eye. I think we share a lot more than common interests--we share a common heart.

Meeting you and falling in love has been the greatest adventure of my life. You fill me with wonder and you challenge me all the time. I can always count on you to find the answers to my most complex questions and to sharpen me like iron on iron when it comes to solving the world's problems.

I think the most unexpected part of the adventure (so far) has been our success at communicating with each other. It is such a relief to know that I can tell you anything--anything at all, no matter how embarrassing or shameful--and you accept me as I am. There is so much freedom in that kind of love. I love you for your commitment to our life together. Do you remember a couple months ago when we had that argument (who knows what it was about!) and we were staring each other down, waiting for the other to pull the proverbial gun? Not a word was said. We just stared at each other until our lips started twitching and then our guns misfired and we doubled over laughing at our own silliness! That's the kind of love I always wanted and the kind of love I'm so glad I have--the kind of love that says, "This is so lame!" and laughs in the face of pride.

You bring out the best in me. You've helped me be more forgiving, to be more accepting, to think more logically and to also follow my instincts. I live a happier, more balanced and certainly more fulfilling life because you're a part of it. I hope I've had the same effect on you! ;)

Our travels together were dream fulfilling but I know they aren't over yet. Every day we have together is a journey and though we don't really know where we're going yet, we do know we're going together. You called me your Sputnik once and I promise to always stay by your side. We'll conquer the world together and to all those people who say we can't, I say, "Watch us!"

Thank you for loving me, for sticking by me, for taking a chance on love and for rescuing me. I promise to always, always do the same for you. 

Happy Birthday, Jeremy! I love you to the moon and back. xoxo

--Kortney

Too Tired to Blog

I feel so tired lately. I've been working full time for the last month and I had forgotten how much energy that took. My day is reduced to wake up, shower, make lunches, watch news, check emails (but don't reply), catch the bus, work, eat lunch with Jeremy, day dream, work more, catch another bus, cook dinner, watch house, brush teeth, and repeat.

But, in the midst of my exhaustion, some good things are happening.

1. We turned in the visa application and I did my health check. We're still waiting for the results as well as the letter of confirmation for the submission of the visa, but all in good time I suspect.

2. Because I've had so much work, we've been able to save a bit of money and we almost have enough to come home. Never mind we only have enough for the flights but that's at least a start. We'll have to wait for the visa to be approved before I leave the country (and before we purchase tickets) but I'm really excited about seeing my family again.

3. We're a couple of dreamers and even though I don't have full time work and even though we don't have money, we're going to start putting it aside for a real vacation. Maybe Burma in December? We're hoping to take advantage of Jeremy's forced leave around Christmas. And we're desperate for a change of scene. Life here is a little boring...

4. I got paid for my photography! Yay! It wasn't much but more than what I expected. We've since decided to put that towards our trip home and I'll worry about camera gear later. Family first, camera second. (Trying to get my priorities in order!)

5. Jeremy's birthday is on April 5th and we're making plans for our big 4 day weekend! Okay, so we can't really do much but we do plan on going to Luna Park (Sydney's Coney Island equivalent) and picnicking on the harbour (we bought some expensive goat cheese for the occasion since we don't have money go away but still deserve a treat). There might also be some hiking and beach coming in this weekend adventure--stay tuned!

6. I've been in touch with the Korean Times and I'm writing an article for them about Jeomchon as a second part to their story on Mungyeong and the hidden gems of Korean tourism! This is SUPER exciting to get my first piece published in a national paper! And they want to print some pictures to go along with it! They intend to run it on or around April 9th so I'll keep you posted when it goes to print! I love success. Make me feel so confident. :)

7. Easter and Passover! We've been blessed with a lovely package from Mom and Grandma with birthday presents for Jeremy and yummy chocolate for us both to share! I love Easter! We're also planning to have our first family Seder and we've purchased some matzo to make some matzo ball soup! (Not really that delicious but void of calories, so...) I'm also making us a wild goat roast! Never done roast (or goat!) before so I'm hoping it works out! Can't wait to tell you all about it! A special blog is coming up about the Seder!!

8. It's raining and it hasn't rained in weeks! I know some of you will think I'm crazy for saying this but I'm so sick of sun. I just want some real dark and cold days! The rain today is the best reprieve I've had from pit stains and a sweaty back in weeks! Our house has been roasting inside and all I can think about--dream about!--is snow and other cold wet things. Like pavement. I am a Northwest girl through-and-through. I often wonder if I have RSAD (Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder) because I seriously feel drained of energy on sunny days and I feel my best in the dark hours before sunrise. And it's even weirder when your seasons are backwards. Right now, my body is saying, "Hey! It should be getting warmer here!" But my head knows it's getting cooler. It really messes me up. But to top it off, spring and fall are like two week seasons here which means there is almost no transition period to ease your way in. I feel like I'm in a seasonal vacuum! And even though it'll get "cooler," it will never get "cold." This body was made to vacation in the tropics--not live in them. Us Anglo Saxons were never meant for the desert.

And, as a side note, I wanted to share with you one of the cute little things Jeremy did today. We have this on-going joke at work that's been perpetuating for months (I keep getting called back to temp at his work place). Whenever I stop by his desk and he's not there, I leave silly little post-it notes in unexpected places. He usually finds them right away like in his coffee cup or under his keyboard but sometimes it takes him a while like the one under his desk or the one in a binder (I think the one in the binder lasted about 3 weeks). Well, today I arrived at work to find a post-it on my desk that said, "Two can play this game!" He didn't leave me many but they were wonderful all the same. I found one under my mouse with some undecipherable scribble on it (Jeremy has atrocious handwriting--he used to be called in to professor's offices to read them his papers) and one in my notebook with a silly little self portrait on it! I was quite surprised and even though I had a tough day today, those little notes gave me reason to smile.

Can I just say that I love, love, love this guy? It's so wonderful to know him and be loved by him. I came across some of my old boyfriends on Facebook today and it really made me realize how fortunate I am that it never worked out between me and them. They are every where and every thing I don't want to be. I'm sure they are still kind people, but wow, my life would be vastly different and I would hate it. Someone had bigger plans for me--and bigger plans yet! I'm so glad to be on this journey with Jeremy. He once called me his Sputnik (Russian for "traveling companion") and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Goodbye, old friend.

Yesterday was awful. I can't tell you how hurtful it is to feel hated for loving someone. There are people out there who have quite literally said to me that my decision to love Jeremy and pursue a life with him is simultaneously a decsion to reject God and choose hell as my eternal destination. Yesterday I got one of those letters from an old friend and it gashed my heart. People are cruel and incompassionate. Life isn't easy and nothing is ever simple, but our love is a joy and a miracle. I wish more of my friends would celebrate that fact instead of accuse me of things they know nothing of.

He ended his letter by warning me that should I not heed his words and leave Jeremy immediately, then I would no longer be considered part of the Christian community. Well, I don't really want to be a participant in that kind of community. I do not believe any man has the authority to make those decisions of who belongs and who does not. Kick me out of the church if you want but you can never take away the Holy Communion in my heart. So I responded with a simple letter: "I will not argue with you and I'm sorry it has come to this. Good luck in all your work... Please do not contact me again. -Kortney"

That's it. That's all that's left of me. I'm done crying over these people because I know that if you are convinced I am going to hell in hand basket, well, I can't convince you otherwise and I just don't have the time or the patience to try. So if that's you, please just don't contact me anymore. I'm no longer allowing people who say things like this to stay in my life. I'm choosing to surround myself with people who care about me and my happiness.

But let me give a big warm thank you to those of you who care, who understand and have celebrated my love with me. Thank you Tiffany for your words of encourage yesterday because I know they were heartfelt and they made me smile. Thank you Ruh for not judging but standing with me and being a friend who always sees the good in life. Thank you Mom, Grandma, Aunt Debra and Aunt Karen for being constant supporters who are happy about our future together. Thank you Michelle, Crystal, Mindy, Meghan, Shellie, and Amanda for seeing through the "faithy-ness" of our peers and being people of real compassion. I know there are other out there who don't comment but do read and do care--thanks to you too. And thank you Jeremy for being my unshakeable partner in everything--I have been a rotten girlfriend at times because of all the stress these people have caused me but you've weathered it all like a tall and sturdy oak. I know we can do anything and I will never give up on you.

Happy Anniversary!!

Jeremy!

You are such a wonderful boyfriend. I love that you are a kind person who always has a moment to chat. I love how you are so nice to everyone and how you make friends with the strangest of strangers. I especially love that you like kids and don't mind taking a moment to teach little child-touts how to count in Russian. 

These things make me smile.

I love that you are funny! I love that you can make me smile when I'm really pissed off and that you really get my humor. I love how we can play our pun game for hours, just building jokes off jokes. I love that you lick the salt of your face--it always makes me laugh!

You warm my heart and fill my belly with laughter.

I love that you are thoughtful. You don't jump to conclusions and you always help me find new perspectives when I'm faced with hard issues. I love that you bring a little balance to my life because I can be quite impulsive, but you are a lot more thought out. I love that we can sit for hours and talk about the mysteries of our world or some obscure piece of history. I love that you have taught me so much about computers and that you've done it in such a way that I can understand.

You challenge me and impress me and I love that we can have that kind of relationship.

I especially love that you have an adventurous spirit. I love that you are willing to do anything (ice climbing, heli skiing, hiking in remote mountain regions). Sometimes I don't like that you scare me with your desire to climb glaciers solo but at least you give me something to do (talk you out of it)! I love that you are just as interested as I am in other cultures, foreign foods, exotic languages, and beautiful landscapes. I love that we can do anything together.

You are perfect for me and I can't wait for all the adventures we will have.

 You are my perfect match. Thank you for the two most wonderful years! 

Happy Anniversary!

The Love of My Life

I knew I could never love any other person when Jeremy told me he owned and OED. Now, for those of you who don't know what the OED is, shame on you. This is practically a sacred book in my opinion. It is the most authoritative dictionary in the English language, not only defining each word, but showing you where and how it has been used in literature throughout the decades.

The Oxford English Dictionary is normally encased by 27 or so volumes of bound books but Jeremy has a second edition condensed version in microform which you read by a magnifying glass with a little light attached (as seen above). I have always felt that owning one would be impossible as they are so big and rather pricey but meeting, falling in love and marrying someone who already does is close enough. So, yes, I/we/he have an OED and the other night we returned to our nerdy, love of English ways and read it in bed.

This is the kind of thing we do. At the end of the day, it's not the poems, the flowers, the dishes or sweet words he says that make me love Jeremy (though he does all that and so much more). It's the quiet moments, alone in our house, reading the dictionary in the dark, comfy in our bed, and enjoying our mutual nerdiness that make me sure he is the only soul on this planet capable of communing with mine.

Bondi Beach

I'm just now getting around to posting these photos of our day out at Bondi Beach back in July.



As you remember, we were kind of stuck in Sydney for two weeks, waiting for our new house to be available, so we spent some time seeing the sights of our new home town.



Bondi Beach is a well known beach in Sydney for surfing and made famous by silly reality tv shows like Bondi Rescue. It's not really a swimming beach because of some pretty strong rip tides but it is beautiful and a great place to lay in the sun.



It wasn't too warm that day so our sun bathing plans were thwarted but we did find ways to amuse ourselves by watching the surfers, reading books, burying our feet in the sand (until a big wave caught us and we got soaked), and unwrapping our new Settlers of Catan game.



It really is a beautiful place and as you can see, the view is beautiful here.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy birthday Mom!

This weekend was my mom's 50th birthday on the 19th. Here she is with my grandma.

Uncle Ron inspecting a lighter I presume...

Apparently most of my family was able to meet and enjoy a fun birthday dinner at my grandma's house. Oh how I miss these family dinners! We always eat outside on the picnic table and my grandma always makes the best food! These are my favorite memories from home.

The food is soooo good. My grandpa can get a bit impatient because it's so good! (Just kidding, I actually have no idea what's going on here. My Aunt Debra took the photos--thanks Aunt Deb!)

And here's my uncle Don. He is such a cool guy. I miss his jokes. I have the best memories of him. He always made all of us kids laugh when growing up. I'll never forget him eating a dog biscuit because he was trying to get us kids to eat one too! He was always good at pranks... Or the time we went for a long drive and he helped us sing the diarrhoea song for a good half hour or so. That must be a record, right?

But of course my favorite person at the party was my mom. My mom is wonderful. She is such a kind person. My mom is always sending me gifts and cards because she loves to make me feel loved. She is intelligent, generous, loves animals, makes amazing barbeque chicken, and is the hardest working woman I know. She worked so hard to raise us on her own and though I know she would do a few things different if she had to do them again, I wouldn't want any other mom but her.

Happy brithday Mom! I hope the next 50 years are even better than the first!! I love you!

A Beautiful Day

I think button shops are lovely. While traveling in Turkey I came across one and took a picture of it just because I love them. Walls--entire walls--covered with little drawers full of buttons. It reminds me of when I was a little girl and would sort my grandma's jewellry in a similar box with drawers, sorting it by size, color, type, and sparkle. A few years later, my mom gave me her spare button tins and I would play, and play, and play in the buttons, always sticking my fingers deep inside the piles, squishing the buttons between them like a handful of mud. And I would sort. And they always made me smile. I think buttons are one of the secret loves of my life--a guilty pleasure of the not-so-guilty kind.

And today I have a reason to visit the button shop.

A couple days ago, just as I walked in the door, a button popped off my winter coat and upon inspection I realized it was the hook that broke, not the thread. With most things still in boxes, I realized there was probably no chance I'd ever find the spare. And though I'm thankful for all the spare buttons that come with my nice clothes, I'm truely grateful to have lost one because now I can visit the button shop which just happens to be nearby. Oh, the adventures that await me there! And if I don't find a match, I'm sure the trip will still be worth my while.

I hope you all can enjoy a button today (whatever you button may be).

Life Down Under

"We-Are-Fam-i-ly"

Saturday night was a big ol' family dinner at a Thai restaurant way out in the middle of Nowhere, Australia. But it was delicious food and a good time. Everyone was there and we order TONS of food, picked off each other's plates, caught up on all the latest stories, made fun of Michael (J's brother) because he's been seeing this girl almost everyday but says they're not dating (right...), talked about our trip, and hung out with Uncle Bob and Greta who live in Thailand and only come home once every few months. Afterwards, we all went to J's grandparent's home for some coffee, tea and dessert. When we left, I was so surprised to realize that J's family is so much like my own sometimes. We all gossiped over cheesecake, poked fun at each other, someone passed out on the couch from too much wine, the boys went out back to look at Uncle Bob's boat, and at the end of the night it was hugs, kisses and goodbyes as we headed out to our next party--we only stayed for about 10 minutes. I guess that's a sign that hanging out with the family can be just as much fun as hanging out with your friends (and just as tiring too!) so we headed home and got some rest. It was a wonderful night out and showed me once again (as if I didn't already know) just how wonderful Jeremy's family really is. I feel at home here and I'm so glad to be here with him.

The slow life...

Yesterday was Doug's birthday (that's Jeremy's sister's fiancee) and we took some interesting back roads to get there. It was kinda like adventuring all over again and it felt good to be out of the house. The party was really nice and I finally got to meet some the people Karen talks about a lot. One thing you'll notice about Australians (should you ever visit) is how relaxed they are. I was shocked when this one dog at the party (not Karen's) peed on TWO hand bags and no one flinched. They just laughed and carried on. Didn't even wash it off. I know this is probably a relaxed extreme (because most people would get upset) but it's still true: Australians are certainly less up-tight than my own people.

Reflecting on my Time in Korea

I've been having some dreams lately about being back in the classroom at Mung Yeoung Girls High School; last night it was about being evaluated by another foreign teacher with a TESOL certificate and my old co-teacher, Shin Eun Jeong. In my dream I felt that I was doing a good job in the classroom but it seemed like I wasn't getting good marks on my evaluation because I kept hearing Shin say, "Well, it's not bad for someone who isn't certified." Of course I know exactly what it means. I've found myself feeling a little guilty lately for not putting more effort into my lessons at school and feeling like sometimes I really just checked out of class all together. Teaching was hard and those last few months it left me a little bitter. I didn't really know what I was doing there and I was so ill-equipped to teach students of another language. I've often said that Koreans really need to change their education system if they want students to succeed in English but I never believe it more than now. They take on too many inexperienced teachers and ask them to teach 24 different classes a week of 40 students each for one hour at a time and expect those test scores to improve. How? How can anyone be successful in such a situation? I don't think I want to teach again. I love the whole "imparting wisdom and knowledge" part but I'm definitely not a fan of lesson planning. Maybe I'm just not that creative. And I'm a person who needs visible results that can be seen a little more often than once every few months.

Work and Stuff

So, Tuesday night will be my first night closing by myself. I've got the key and I'm ready. I'm also thinking that after I get paid this week, I might enter myself in the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary volunteer program. It's $60 and lasts for three months but it would give me a chance to hangout with the animals, fill some empty hours around the house, and look into a new career that I never really put much thought into. I'm still planning on grad school for journalism but I must admit, there is a bit of lingering doubt there... Is it really the right path for me? I feel like I'm in a good place to make a career shift so I just want to check out a few other options...

Mother's Day

Mother's day is coming up and I've been thinking a lot about my mom and how much I miss her. She really is a wonderful mom. She always supports me and helps me out financially when I need it. She always sends me packages when I'm missing things like Butterfingers or Macaroni and Cheese. She always takes time to talk with me when I call. She really is a good momma. I was thinking about her the other day and how when I was in my last year of school I pretty much broke down under the stress of The Talon Journal and all my writing classes and really just needed someone to cry with me. I bawled, and bawled, and bawled on the phone with her for nearly two hours and she just sat there, crying with me, encouraging me, assuring me that I made the right decision to resign, and giving my assistant editor a few verbal slappings for betraying me (a good momma always defends her young). My mom may not always be capable of giving me the best advice but she always gives the best hugs (even if it's just over the phone).

I love my mom.

I Want a Dog

Dalmation Pups, originally uploaded by champ2008!.

While walking down the street in HCMC, Jeremy and I walked right into a sidewalk pet shop (as in lots of cages with puppies and kitties inside them). And there was a dalmation. And I fell in love.

And since then all I can think about is getting a dalmation and naming him Domino.

Jeremy hates dogs but I've been gradually wearing him down over the past few months from loathing to tolerating man's best friend, all the while assuring him that one day, he may be dog's best friend. :)

And a couple weeks ago he agreed that if we have a house together someday, I can have a dog. Yay!!!

But he still didn't want anything to do with it. We even had a near argument on the bus from Singapore to KL about what role this hypothetical dog might have in a hypothetical house in the hypothetical future (silly, I know). So I pulled a trick on him to win his heart and bring him back from the dark side (that is, the place where dog-haters go).

We always had this deal that if he wanted to see a movie that I didn't, he would have to pay for me and vice versa. Well, these last few months we've been traveling solely on his money and a couple weeks ago he got tired of handling all of it and told me to carry the cash for a change. (See where this is going?) So, upon arrival in KL I announced we were going to the movies... To see Marley & Me... A movie about a dog... A movie he doesn't want to see... A movie I would be paying for with his money... Muwahahaha! I truly am a clever woman. :)

And--gasp!--he liked it. He liked it a lot. And at the end of the movie, he leaned over and said, "Okay, let's get a dog. I want one too."

You have no idea how HUGE this is!! One day I will have a little Domino!!!! At least, I hope I will. There are still a lot of hypothetical hurdles to crawl over.

But I have surely made the world a better place!

Go see Marley & Me--or better yet, read the book! I read it in Egypt and L-O-V-E-D it! I cried, I laughed, I stayed up well into the night reading. If you have a soul, you will love it.

Gilligan's Island

It was rough sitting on the beach in Ko Chang for 5 days...



Happy Valentine's Day!!







Our home away from home! This is our beach and the bungalows we rented from.



Maybe we spent a little too much time on the island... Or maybe there was something else in that coconut besides coconut milk...

Sunsets of the 7 Seas

Sand Castles and More

He had no idea I was photographing him...



Working hard on that mud mound... My castle is on the right.





Who can resist a smile like that?!



The cute little Irish girl who helped us build our sand castle complex. This is before she decided to "belly slam" it.



In the act...



He makes a lovely mermaid, eh?



It took some convincing before he'd let me do this! :)

Another Day, Another Dollar

Still in Battambang. We tried to leave this afternoon but all morning buses were full with none in the afternoon and the boat to Siam Reap had already left. So, we're here another night. And J is still sick. He spent most of the day in bed sleeping while I amused myself with solitaire, tv and books. It's no fun when someone you love is sick. You never want to leave their side but laying around for hours is killer! Of course I do it with joy though. Doing nothing together is better than doing lots alone.

Bus tickets for tomorrow have been purchased! Hopefully some photos will be coming your way soon!!

1 Year

P1010205, originally uploaded by jlmoschner.

Today I am SO excited to celebrate 1 year of the best love and friendship with the coolest guy I know: Jeremy. He is funny, charming, caring, considerate, intelligent, adventurous, understanding, and my best friend in the purest use of the word.

I love you and can't wait for all the adventures we'll have in the next year!!

Love, Kortney

Bangkok

My boyfriend is so cute.

So far, Bangkok has been fun. A little repetitive since I saw all the sights when I came here last year, but fun none the less. We haven't been doing much other than sitting under the fan and taking turns in the cold shower (it's HOT here) but have managed to get out a few times.

The photo above was taken two days ago at Wat Arun (a VERY steep climb to the top) and yesterday we got stuck in traffic TWICE trying to get to and back from the train station (we were buying tickets). The first time we were stuck in a taxi and decided walking was a better option that paying to sit. The second time was on a sweaty, stinky, crowded bus that didn't move for at least a half hour. We opted to walk once again which no doubt got us back to Khao San Road much faster than if we had waited.

Last night we went out with some friends of Jeremy's who came in from Australia and are on their was to Burma. It was really great to meet some of his friends from home and a big confidence booster (since they liked me, I'm guessing the rest will). We had a good time drinking beer and smoothies and then eating some AWESOME Pad Thai for dinner. But all that time in the sun earlier that day wiped us all out and we had to hit the hay early. Like 8:30 PM early. We're going out with them again tonight before they leave tomorrow, and tomorrow, we too will leave Bangkok for the lovely beaches of Ko Pha Ngan. I can't wait!!